this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

"Hi Lesbian, I'm Moss"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

No one was asking because no one was interested.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

This is infinitely funnier if OP is a woman

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

tell me something not so obvious

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

"Ma'am, this is a Wendy's..."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

"Oh, that makes sense."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

"Well, then I now identify as a woman, girrrrl!"

Oof. That seems inappropriate on so many levels. I think it offends pretty much everyone.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

If this is the US, straight to HR. 🤑

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah this didn't happen because there's literally no reason to bring that up. Unless OP was being creepy which is totally possible given the website.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

Anon must address her as “Lesbian” for now until eternity, considering that’s all she is.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

"THAT JUST MEANS SHE LIKES WHAT I LIKE"

  • Tourettes Guy
[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago

"Hell yeah I like chicks too!" go for a high five

[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What prompted that disclosure? Could she smell the horniness emanating from Anon? Did he, as he noticed she was a woman, give off a vibe like a starving cartoon wolf imagining the main character as comprised entirely of sausages?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

I believe he started vibrating 15,000 Hertz. A totally normal response in the presence of all women, not the sign of a weirdo at all.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Sorry that you feel obligated to mention this based on your past experiences. I hope our interactions are professional. Please let me know if I step over a line... my jokes are sometimes a little off but never misogynistic maybe a little dark, but I work on it.

With that out of the way ... my Name is Anon, I am happily married. Now.. let's Beginn =]

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

"me too"

Final answer

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

So, do you pronounce the full name, "lesbian", or do you shorten it to "les" or something?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

"Don't flatter yourself"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago

"I wasn't interested"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

In this case its a bit different but what i see is that everything is oversexualized but the effect of that is people are actually more lonely because every social interaction you have with anyone who could be a sexual partner automatically becomes strange.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

What's your best pickup line?

[–] [email protected] 63 points 3 weeks ago

Respond super excited, like when you meet someone who shares the same niche hobby than you: "I like girls too! So tell me, what have you found to be the best technic to eat pussy?"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 weeks ago

It's time for anon to drop the classic dad joke

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 weeks ago

And I'm married, so I'm kind of asexual (at work), so we're ought to be friends!

It's probably a way for her not to be flirted with. To protect herself. So I'd say something reassuring like that.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

"Well damn! Scissor me timber girl! Let's duck under the table and 69!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

"Me too, let's make out and adopt a pit bull"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Bahaha is that a thing? My sister's gay and she got a pitbull

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 weeks ago

“Hi, Lesbian, I’m anon.”

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 136 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Beat me to it! I already posted mine before I saw yours haha

[–] [email protected] 40 points 4 weeks ago

“I, too, am a connoisseur of fine pussy.”

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