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Whatever anyone’s opinion on this, ONION RINGS DO NOT BELONG HERE, they are NOT POTATOS

Where the hell are the Cajun fries?

8, 5, 4, 2, 1, 7, 3, 6

Adding Cajun seasoning to 4, 2, 1, or 7 would raise it above the other 3 and make me unsure about whether to raise it above 5.

2: Top tier. I would suck a curly fry-wrapped dick as a side dish to my communion.

8: As pictured, yes. With their typical batter style that allows the onion to slide out? Fucking garbage. 1: A solid choice that reheats well and consistently delivers the yum.

7: Tasty and a fun puzzle as you try to reconstruct the potato.

3: Plain tots? Fuck outa here. Bump that shit up with some totchos.

4: Good in theory, dry as fuck in practice. Texture is inconsistent and offensive to autism.

5: What the fuck is wrong with you? Deadass. Explain your trauma to me.

6: Somehow chalk that reheats into more chalk. Your mom said not to fast food and then pulled these out the oven. Worse than a sweet potato fry.

Where are the cheese curds? Fucking profligates is deep fried cheese too good for ya?

They're all tied for number 1, except sweet potato, which skips all the empty spots below and goes straight to number 8. Sweet potato fries suck.

Never had curlies, tots (not even sure what they are) or waffle fries.
After reading the comments I think I've never had good onion rings or sweet potato fries. Those are a no from me. Onion rings were just deep fried batter and sweet potato was sweet and soggy. Both didn't leave an impresion.

Now my potato of choice is wedges (especially if cooked in an oven). Then whatever is left. Not sure why everyone is hating on zigzags. The thickness is similar to straight fries so it should cook similarly and without seasoning everything will taste bland.

This

With Belgian mayonaise!

And I'm Dutch so I'm not even biased.

I'm gonna have to lock in Onion Rings as my final answer.

No. I refuse to rank my children as well.

So, shoestring and wedges have such a huge range of quality, there are so many ambiguities here!

Not zigzags though. Zigzags can get fucked.

Edit: But really. Trash shoestrings are tue most trash. If you can get the oil hot enough, or do the double drop trick, you get one of the best stand alone fries, but they arent good for dipping in much more than ketchup, and you cant, like, put cheese on them or anything. You need more substantial fries for that. Wedges are similarly niche in the other direction, and the quality of their preparation varies widely.

Edit: replace zigzags with fried zucchini or mushrooms or mozzarella sticks. Then that slot is back in contention.

Gimme some of those tots

Anglosphere ah ah list

3 –> 1 –> 4 –> 2 –> 6 –> 8 –> 7 –> 5

What the heck kind of list is this?

Where are the steak fries?

Wedges, winners

Onion rings second depending on their quality

Then sweet potato fries

[paja] (a Spanish variety that's amazing)

Shoe stings

curly

Zigzag

tots

Waffles

3 >2>4>1>7>8>5>6

Steak cut. Home fries. Has browns

Don't cut my boys out

The top three are Shoestring, Curly, and Wedges, though not necessarily in that order. I still have not managed to figure out how the fuck restaurants make their shoestring (and steak) fries so fucking good.

Next are waffle fries and onion rings. They're okay.

Sweet Potato fries and tots after that. Just not my thing.

Whoever likes zigzag/crinkle-cut fries is a monster. May god have mercy on their twisted souls.

The secret winner though is zucchini fries, which are mana from the heavens.

My only strong opinion on the whole chart is that crinkle cut fries are the worst thing shown and thus take last place no matter what

Best to worst: 8, 7, 4, 2, 6, 1, 3, 5

Sweet potato in general is just terrible.

1, 7, 6, 4, 8, 3, 2, 5

1,5,7,8,3,4,2,6

I love my thick wedges! Shoestring always disappoints me for some reason

I’ll just take whatever. I’m not picky.

Onion rings top, then tots, then everything else

wedges, waffle, tots, onion rings, curly, shoestring, crinkle (never heard them called zigzag), sweet potato

I have had really good sweet potato fries that rank much higher, but they're a gamble. Seem to have greater variation in quality than the other options.

1. Waffle fries (always crispy and delicious)
2. Curly fries (same)
3. Tater tots (surprisingly good)
4. Wedges, if properly spiced
5. Good onion rings
6. Shoestring, if not limp
7. Bad onion rings
8. Bad wedges
9. Crinkle cut (zigzag) (usually unflavored and soggy from a bag, but can be better than soggy shoestrings)
10. Bad shoestrings
11. Sweet potato fries (always soggy and I don't like sweet potato very much)