Back to the Future.
A normal Doc Brown wouldn't have invented a time machine.
this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2024
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Donnie Darko
oh the weird bunny man who is the dead boyfriend of your sister told you to come out of bed and onto the street?
Nah, bad dream, just stay in bed. Jet engine goes boom, Donnie's buried under, only one other family in another timeline loses a jet engine, story over in 5 minutes...
...unless the story then fixates on the other timeline where a jet engine just vanished off a plane and no one knows where, ah goddamit
Fight Club and the countless movies like it, which are character-driven and the character is driven by extremely maladjusted desires and behaviors.
"Alright, but isn't that being ableist in Fight Club's case?"
No, if both of the alters acted like normal people, you'd just have an especially weird buddy comedy with none of the conflict of the original movie.
The Sixth Sense.
Alien.
"Waow what the f-!"
"- DON'T KILL IT!"
*kills it* "- Sorry, you were saying?"
Still can't figure why they didn't kill it when they had opportunity. π¬
I was thinking more along the lines of:
We were woken up to check out this signal.
Shine that, let's go home and get paid.
But you know, we're required by law to do so or we forfeit our payment.
OK, so what's the story we all say?
Yeah, nothing there. Must have been a glitch.
OK, let's go home.
To bad both mother and the android were sent to look for the aliens in the first place. The crews main misson was a cover-up
John Wick, I mean who the fuck brakes in to a dudes house and shoots his dog.
Every police officer ever.
Must have been haitian cops
that would make for an amazing john wick film
28 Days Later
2020 proved that one entirely plausible
Shark pool
Every dragged out rom-com.
"We have a bad misunderstanding about why our relationship sucks!"
"Well, let's sit down and talk it over, okay?"
"Okay"
End.
I would watch this movie with so much popcorn.
So you would have a handful of popcorn and the movie would be over.
Normal people talk things over? I would seriously believe that to be the farfetched scenario.
As a bonus, I remember watching Walker Texas Ranger with my father in law, amd the amount of times people had their sights on him and didn't shoot him was ridiculous. He'd have died so fast.
Same with James Bond
He would have reflected the bullets with his abs
Nah, the bullets would've just given up halfway through flight
The Host
βDump all the formaldehyde down the drain.β
βNo that would pollute the water!β
βOh ok letβs not do that.β
The End.
Home Alone.
"Hey, sorry Kevin. Come on, hop in the car."
I think the movie actually did a reasonable job of explaining it. Multiple different households were traveling together, the whole thing was chaotic, a neighbors kid dropped by and was included in the head count, Kevin was on the attic and so out of sight, they were running late, etc.
The 2nd and third time tho?
Oh this is a great one.
Air bud. "You guys are insane. Listen. Your team will forfeit every game that dog takes the court."
It's crazy how this became a movie trope. It doesn't say in the rules that a giraffe can't be in the swim team.
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