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Literally right there with you bud. Same boat, exactly, to a T. My sister is a healthcare provider herself and couldn't find a therapist for me in my network who specialises in adult autism, and is taking new patients.
They'll call me when they have space. In the meantime, I smoke a lot of weed and don't blame myself too much for my meltdowns, if I can't remove myself from the stimulus in time.
I smoke absolutely nothing, take no drugs at all (apart from caffeine), and forget to take my meds every other day...just basically raw-doggin' reality. But I need to dig into why I do the things I do that lead to my relationships not lasting, because human connection is the one drug I am feening for the most.
Are you looking for a therapist? PsychologyToday has a find a therapist tool that can help.
Yeah, I know. When I had to get a marketplace plan in Texas during the pandemic, I had to search through page after page on Psychology Today...nearly 300 providers in, I found an acceptable one. But I'm in Portland now with insurance starting in nine days, and I'm told I'll have a much easier go of things here.
You know what's monumentally hard to do when you are a depressed autist with high anxiety?
...everything? Or maybe that's just ADHD making further sludge out of things.
I feel like I hit the lottery with the facility I'm currently at. Years and years of intermittent garbage care. Then a trauma reactivation left me barely functioning... including the anxiety spiral. I just followed the prompts between bouts of sobbing. Referral -> referral -> Quartet -> jackpot. Further reinforcing the "jackpot" aspect, I had to do a stint at the facility right down the street from my house. It was awful. Had I started there, it would have just reinforced my previous negative experiences.
I wish you the best, internet stranger. It fucking sucks out there.
I'm glad you got the help you needed, that's awesome.
I have the added fun of being queer (non-binary, grey ace) and polyamorous, so finding care from sex-positive, LGBT-friendly providers who are also well-suited to treat autistic patients with gender dysphoria...
I lived in Texas until recently. For the past ten years since my journey of self-discovery began, finding therapists has been awful. But I just moved to Portland, Oregon this summer, and I was told by the genderqueer, neurodivergent benefits specialist at the school district I started teaching for that I'll have a much easier time finding care here because (gestures broadly) it's Portland. 😊
The change in venue should help you immensely. So glad to hear you got out of Texas. That's like worst case scenario material.
The place I'm at is very LGBTQ friendly. I'm trying to think back, and I don't think there was ever a group dynamic that didn't include one or more. Every once in awhile someone had to be corrected on pronouns but it was never a big deal.
Fun fact: my spouse (bi) and I are also poly. But I do not bring this fact up much at all. Reason being is that, being an older "taken" cishet male, I'm "safe" in many eyes. I spent 30 some-odd years being the weird kid that people kept their distance from. I've had my fill of people being on their guard around me, and will gladly take being treated like a "normal" person where I can get it lol.
Best of luck to you moving forward. You took steps to up your chances of success. I'm rooting for you 🍻
Yeah, I get that. Single guy who likes to have conversations with kids: Creepy. Married guy who likes to have conversations with kids: Aww! I hate that that is the mentality people have, that single men are creeps. (That being said, it would help if so damned many of them wouldn't send unsolicited dick pics to women on social media.)
And thanks!
Universal healthcare! I will not accept anything else!