We used to have words printed on paper (the pressed corpses of trees) called books, magazines, and newspapers. They'd bring one of those.
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Video game instruction manuals
Farmers Almanac. Used to come with a pre-drilled hole for hanging on a hook in the outhouse.
I had to poop really bad the other day. I had to make a run for it and didn't have time to grab my phone first. I was in and out in like 2 minutes!
We fell asleep on the toilet a lot.
Y'all take more than a minute to poop?
Spanish people stopped learning greek after smartphones where invented.
Tap for spoiler
We used to read shampoo bottles that where usually shipped in Spain with labels in four languages: Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and Greek. So it was always funny to try to see how things were written in greek while pooping.
Magazine racks. Every home had a small one next to the toilet
In our pants. Toilets came out around the same time as smartphones, so it’s been a pretty revolutionary couple of decades around here.
Pooping shouldn’t be a drawn-out process. You’re better off keeping your toilet time to less than 10 to 15 minutes, says Gregory Thorkelson, M.D., a psychiatrist in the department of gastroenterology, hepatology, and nutrition at the University of Pittsburgh.
In fact, you should only make your way to the bathroom when the urge hits.
If the urge to poop isn’t there, you might be tempted to push or strain to try to get the job done.
And all that straining could lead to the development of hemorrhoids—bulging blood vessels around your anus that can become swollen and painful or even bleed.
https://www.menshealth.com/health/a19521086/time-spent-pooping/
Magazines and we read the ingredient list of bottles, like bleech.
I would stare out windows a lot while I was in the bathroom. If you stare at leaves in a tree and let your eyes unfocus you can see patterns and shapes. Sort of like looking for shapes in clouds.
For bathrooms without windows I think I would just use my imagination. I've got a fairly vivid one and just think about random stuff a lot.
It's hard to remember though. I have heard about people reading the ingredients of chemicals while they go, but I've never personally done that.
Hopefully through their buttholes, not through their fingers and mouths.
While listening their neighbour poop.
We had a little basket thingy with books and magazines. Stuff like Calvin & Hobbes, I Spy books, Popular Science magazines, etc.
Every year for Christmas our father would get new content for the toilet library. Usually from Walter Moers' Little Asshole series. Good times.
Teletype with an acoustic coupler. You place the handset into the rubber cups that block out the sound, so that the modem noises were clear through the phone line.
The perforations in modern toilet paper are an homage to the holes in the punched tape used to feed the teletype pre-recorded instructions.
We'd look through the bathroom window, there was always something funny going on. Such as packs of velociraptors fighting each other, or a mastodon causing wreck on the neighbour's garden.
In recent times, by reading. Before that, i think most people pooped faster than we do due to better digestable foods
And before that, pooping was a social function .
They’re not going anymore, they’re sitting there arguing over who has to go get some toilet paper
No need for toilet paper 😅
Huh. It’s like a bidet, but worse
There used to be a basket full of old National Geographic, Newsweek, and GQ magazines in the bathroom for you and any guests to enjoy.
You've forgotten Reader's Digest.
And we can't forget the episode of Seinfeld where George takes a book into the bathroom.
Huh, this vegan dog shampoo has not been tested on animals.
I feel like that's the one product they should test on animals so that my dog doesn't have to be the guinea pig.
Falcon 3.0 flight manual.
We had magazines.
I used to keep a book under the sink.
Archie comic books.
In my childhood household, at all times, there were in-progress books on the back of the commode. You would simply select the one relevant to you.
Like a family relay race of books?
There were individual books per person.
That's not quite as fun
They didn't. Which is why boomers are full of shit.