Microblog Memes

I stopped posting my kids on social media. I don't think it's fair to them to create an online presence without their informed consent.

It's that basic lack of respect that keeps my parents at an arm and a half's distance. There was nothing I did as a child that the rest of the world didn't hear about, even if I specifically asked them to keep something quiet. I stopped asking after a while, because I realized that guaranteed that they'd talk about it. Fucking weirdos.

Respect has always been at the core of my wife and I's parenting philosophy. Children are fully-qualified persons in their own right, they're not an extension of their parents. They have their own tastes, dreams and aspirations. They'll test to find the limits of what they can do, and it doesn't really matter where it's actually set but it's really important that they do find it. They can understand why we have to say no to them, and if you communicate the reason they'll respect it.

All of this continues well into their teenage years, BTW.

I keep telling my wife we have to write a book on parenting, but she thinks it'll be too controversial (especially our views around daycare and schooling)...

People really just weren't ready for social media or having miniature computer-cameras at their disposal constantly.

If your child is having a meltdown of throwing a tantrum then you as a parent have a job to be doing. Put the phone back in your pocket or your purse and attend to your kid. Figure out what the problem is, do what you need to do to calm them down and consider that maybe if this is a frequent occurrence that perhaps you as a parent fucked up somewhere and you're going to have to be responsible by working to correct whatever mistakes you made that brought this bad habit into existence.

Just generally ask your kids' permission to post them online, and don't pressure them if they don't want to. This is a single piece of advice that will protect you from many mistakes like these.

Granted that some parents are just plain abusive, many parents on the one hand don't realise that they are abusing their power as authority figures on their kids.

HAPPY OVERWHELM

Videoing my kid has been an effective method for getting him to stop throwing a tantrum. I wouldn’t post it to the internet, but it seems to get him to care about how he’s behaving, so sometimes I’ll do it.

If you're too young to have a social media, you're too young to be ON social media.

there was a time these could end up on network television as part of the prime time lineup.

now it's just one of billions floating around on the interwebs.

On the other hand: How else are we going to get those amazing condom ads?

Was going through links on a wholesome subreddit the other day, looking to calm myself down, and happened upon a video of a young teenage girl in an audiologists office getting her cochlear implants turned on. She was emotional, and happy crying, as her mom filmed her. But it just seemed kind of wrong to share? Like, this is a private moment for you and your family, and you can see the moment the girl realizes she's being recorded, and how she then immediately goes to wipe tears/cover her face.

I've come to revel in the idea of not recording precious moments, just because I don't want to cheapen them with the inclusion of a smartphone, a screen to separate myself from life happening on the other side. I take a similar approach to good deeds. Do something good, or kind for someone, and then don't tell a soul. Keep it with you, for you, only. Hoard those moments like a dragon, and whenever you are having a crisis of faith, where you're unsure as to your own worth, remind yourself of those times you did something kind for no other reason than it was the right thing to do.

Social media didn't exist when I was a child. I'm thankful for that because my experiences now help me quickly recognize narcissistic DARVO.

1. Deny

2. Attack

3. Reversal of Victim and Offender

It often happens in a means most succinctly expressed by The Narcissists Prayer.

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.

A wide scope of situations can flow from the general to a fairly specific outcome: A child lacks the means to communicate righteous injustice and has a "meltdown". The parent films it, then posts it to social media with something like, "Look what I have to put up with (laughing to tears emoji)".