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Do you work somewhere where you can escape for an hour over lunch, perhaps? Like go to the gym or something? Out of sight out of mind.
I totally get the feeling of being mobbed, but to be honest find a way to cope with it at work. A lot of work places are by definition social places so it's going to be really hard avoiding interactions all the time. Maybe go for a walk with a podcast or something?
Good luck ๐ค.
Just hold your ground and keep reading your book, eating alone etc. If someone enters personal territory, shut it down by being honest "I don't want to talk about that" and move on. Resist peer pressure and be who you are, it's the same as it was in school.
Also, talk to your coworkers (I know it's hard) about whether they think it's appropriate. You have an impression they're on board with this level of "intimacy" but it's possible they are just going along to get along.
If persisting doesn't work then it's probably time to find another job. Plenty of workplaces out there that just want you to do your job and no more.
HR is definitely not on your side either, unless you can point to specific violations of policy. They exist specifically to cover their own ass, not to actually make your life better.
A supervisor should understand the concept of respecting people's boundaries. You could always say something like "Hey I'm not really in the mood to talk right now" or "This isn't something I want to talk about". Just a fair warning if you do this, you might get labeled as the odd one the same way you mentioned if you go to HR (the HR one would be a bit worse if I'm being honest).
HR isn't the employees friend, ever.
But that's where you start the paper trail. It's really the safest bet
Boy, I'm real hesitant to go to HR. May as well ask to be fired.
It really depends on the business, culture, climate. The better places I've worked, this kind of interest is genuine, an attempt to foster better relationships at work. Of course, some people are just nosey Nellies...
Without knowing the environment and culture (and the questions), it's hard to say what to do.
Best I can say is to make it clear you like to keep your work and private life well separated.
Also OP, if someone else feels insulted, that's on them. They've chosen to feel insulted. Besides, how do you know she feels insulted? If she's communicating that, then she's being manipulative, using "emotional blackmail". Look, I'm not responsible for how you choose to feel, that's on you.
One trick I've used with people who continue with questions is to respond with a non-sequiter, something jarring, and use it all the time, repeatedly. Something like "how about the weather", or "how about those ". Make it your catch phrase for when people continue to pry, and don't be afraid to repeat it. Keep in mind tone matters, so say it like you mean it, like you walked in on Monday after a team did well, or got their asses beat. You don't even have to like the sport or the team, in fact it's kind of funny if you don't like them.
It's a bit of re-framing the conversation, while also communicating you aren't interested in the subject, without being an ass. And if anyone complains, well, you were just talking about a sports team.
Sheila, I'm a very private person and I would like to keep my work and home life separated. I need that to feel comfortable. I'm here to get work done and happy to talk about anything omnoir work.