this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

Only reasonable response here is to clap back. Once they know you bite, they move onto someone easier.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Today I get to be the token guy that reminds people that this is fake

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

I have been in one relationship in my entire life. 8 years ago I was assigned the desk next to her at work, and now I I'm going to marry.

I'm so glad that I have to put up with this shit. One and done, and I'm perfectly happy with it.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Or kill your aunt instead?

J/K scary moderators.

. . . or am I?!?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Potentially get him!!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Bodied that freak

[–] [email protected] -5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Why feel shame that you didn't live your life chained to animal urges?

Whats your Aunt got to show for herself? 2 Divorces? 4 kids, 1 dead from overdose and 2 college dropouts?

Breeders just pollute the gene pool imo, better to spend a long time to establish a life and have one partner you can trust.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

this is such a 4chan answer

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Nah, a 4-chan answer would blame women.

[–] [email protected] 97 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

Sounds like a great family

Jokes aside, if you ever feel like killing yourself, don't. Don't let them win.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

if you ever feel like killing yourself, don't

Oh definitely don't kill yourself, there's absolutely no future in it.

My cousin killed himself and I do not think it helped at all.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, I find straight up abandoning your shit family is a not completely bad idea.

You'd be surprised at the jobs out there that simply let you get on a train or a boat and simply leave it all behind if you want to.

Just please then don't jump off the back of my boat. The point is that it might be lonelier than guaranteed family but ocean is a bad way to go.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yea, just put that energy into murdering your aunt.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

But make it look like your cousin did it.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 weeks ago

I wonder why Anon has issues finding love, with such a great upbringing

[–] [email protected] 107 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Fuck the single cousin? I don't see the problem

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

They had 10 children, 7 of whom survived to adulthood.

Interesting that the wiki article has that mentioned so high up, right after the cousins thing

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's not even illegal everywhere

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, it's legal in my state, you just have to be in your 50s and one of you needs to be sterile.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 66 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is the 4chan solution

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

This is the 4chan origin story.

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