this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Head on apply directly to the forehead

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

5G corona virus mind control

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

The “Everything’s OK” alarm is working just fine.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

woman with vaccine microchip coming in for a software update

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

You have become a mod of r/Conservatives

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Would you like an EXTRA BIG ASS TACO!!!!!!?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I can't let you do that, Karen.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Press button to talk to train drive. Penalty fine for improper use.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

“Now with Flipper for Neuralink with Variable Shortwave Radio Interface you won’t need to carry a clunky device to communicate with legacy iLink security systems”

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

When you're blasted on LSD, THC, MDMA, and Benadryl, the fire alarm SLAPS!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ma'am this isn't a Wendy's it's apartment 402a stop buzzing me are you on drugs or something it's 2am.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Baconator. BACONATOR!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

The ship has been getting around since breaking up with never bender

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Its a women being abused by the evil police

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

"Took me like an hour doing the shading on the upper lip."

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Samantha knew what she had to do, when her new Ring doorbell began to send her the MKUltra activation code.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Open the Subaru doors HAL.

I'm sorry, Karen. I'm afraid I can't do that.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Kill them all.

Start with... that one

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'll take two burgers, two fries and one big coke.

No wait, cancel one fries and add another big coke.

No wait...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The large soda is always a Diet Coke. Working in fast food, I learned the “add mayo, add bacon, extra cheese, no lettuce, no tomato” crowd always complements their order with a huge diet cola.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ding-dong! It's the Americans. Open the country; stop having it be closed.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

always nice seeing a fellow Bill Wurtz fan

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Karenification process commencing, do not move.