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A seating chart for an "8 HOUR FLIGHT" with the text "PICK YOUR SEAT" at the top. The chart is composed of 10 numbered seats, each occupied by a different famous Republican politician or public figure, or the devil. Each number represents a seat, and each seat is either adjacent to or between one or two different individuals.
Edit: didn’t notice the devil. That’s a better choice. I’d still go with 7 though so I don’t have to hear trump’s voice.
9, might cop a gobby.
3, so I could kick the back of the seat in front of me as I fully recline. At least the devil might be listening to some good music.
Fuck it... I'll walk
#5, and my cat sits in my lap.
10 For Sure!
Both of these assholes think they deserve respect.
It would be so much fun to needle them.
if I HAVE to, 3. we'd get along, he's not the bad guy. 2 if I were allowed to strike each time he opened his mouth.
Can I get the seat on the wing?
I'll walk, thanks.
Where are the parachutes?
Remember kids, suicide is always an option.
I turn around and take the next flight
Fuck it, I'll walk at this point.
10, I can watch the show in front while the guy next to me turtle crawls to the grave
And if I get bored as a constituent I have words for Vance and I’m not afraid to speak across an aisle to inform him what I think
2, so I can finish the job the twink was unable to do
This plan is going down for sure.
That's not entirely true, everyone knows boebert is also a whore in the sexual manner too.
Maybe you can ask for a handjob
3, it's not even a fucking question.
Fuck yeah. Satan is the only honest one, who looks out for humanity and cares about knowledge, happiness, and body autonomy. It's like OP doesn't know who Satan really is. Motherfucker is based af
Right in the blast zone though...
Is spending the whole 8 hours in the toilet an option?
The actual devil would probably be a pretty interesting flight neighbor. Fun fact, I'd talked to Hulk Hogan in person more than once in random places, he actually talks "like that" all the time. He called me "brother", was weird as fuck.
8
Chat with Satan, argue with Botox Matt, kick Mitch McConnell's seat all flight.
Yeah, 8 is the correct choice as an adult male. I'd be safe from Gaetz, with access to the aisle.
#2
Do you know how many mind games you can play with a narcissist who has nothing but piranhas surrounding him?
Seat #9 - at least I could get a handie from BoBo after a few in-flight vodkas…
But you'd be stuck in the middle seat. You really want to torture yourself like that?
It’s 100% a lose-lose situation no matter how you chop it up, so if I can at least get some Betelgeuse-level of affection from the designated House slut in the meantime, it’ll dull the pain otherwise.
Well I'm sure the devil will also give a fiery handy if you ask nicely. Worst case he puts in seat 9 so I see sitting next to the devil as a better option.
Are slash brand new sentence
I was gonna pick 7 but holy shit I can sit next to SATAN? HELL YEAH #3 ALL THE WAY Maybe I can talk him into taking this whole plane straight to hell. I'll end up going with it but my eternal suffering is worth sparing the earth the misery of these absolute scum. I might feel bad about Hulk Hogan though. Yeah he's deranged and chose the wrong side, but I feel more like he's lost and confused rather than as overtly malignant as the rest of these dipshits.
edit: ok yeah if the hulkster burns too that's actually good for the world.
This might change the way you feel: https://www.thesportster.com/how-hulk-hogan-ruined-wrestling-unions-explained/
3 easy. He's the only one on the flight that tells the truth.