this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
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chapotraphouse

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

this is actually demonic

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I already told my boyfriend, if I didn’t have him, I’d have chosen the bear a long time ago. I know he wouldn’t do anything like this to me. We haven’t had the marriage conversation though.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Then the mock ICE raid proposal is gonna be a real surprise

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

How the absolute fuck is this considered attractive?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

Bro what the fuck

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Jesus Christ. I clicked on it thinking about a story Boonta Vista covered where a dude ran a stop sign on campus intending to be pulled over by the campus cop for his "prom-posal" (Americans, you are insane) and seriously injuring another student on a motorbike but this is so much worse. Men are broken tbh. Not in like a redemptive way or anything we just really fucking suck.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

Destroying countless of lives in order to get faster to the ritual of asking in the cringest possible way "Would you go to a party with me where afterwards it's still nowadays implied we fuck"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

are you saying I should cancel my plans to fake an active shooting to propose to my gf

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I proposed to my wife by kidnapping her and putting her in a custom built underground cell for a week depriving her of natural light and only feeding her white rice and Gatorade. Every night I'd blast the theme song to Barney at full volume into the cell.

Finally I came down in a mask with a box and told her she had to see what was inside, and sure enough it was a ring.

She said no, and now im doing five years in prison deeper-sadness

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

smh you forgot to put high doses of LSD into the gatorade

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

This can't be fucking real. Holy shit what the actual fuck.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I literally can't. I've made a big sign that I carry out and about that says "LOOKING FOR A SWITCH2-FREE GIRL FRIEND" and I've only met one woman with it and she had a Switch2 and said she thought I was joking and I said I definitely wasn't and then a bunch of stuff that my lawyer told me not to talk about happened.

Sucks.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Imagining my future girlfriend coming home with a Switch 2 box. I freak out. She says "look inside the box." I look. It's a wedding ring. She asks "will you marry me?"

I say no. How fucking dare you ruin this moment with your little scheme.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Switch 2 is apparently really bad tho

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Is it as bad as The Patriarchy?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

I'm going to say it.

The Switch 2 is patriarchal.

No, I will not explain.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

Look ive had some bad ideas before but at least I never got close to this

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

Connor O'Malley?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

Jesus Christ, what could possess a man to do that

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

how did this moron get a first date?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

wouldn't know, i haven't had an in-person conversation outside of immediate family in years

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Incredibly fucked up but also so funny at the same time

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (2 children)

didn't watch the whole thing, did she still say yes?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

of course.. this is how chuds are able to reproduce

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

I think she said yes cause she thought they were both gonna die... Right

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

Marrying the love of my life at the waffle house parking lot

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

Y'all should've never wished me back with those dragonballs

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

coming around to the conclusion that the cishets have never been okay

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What the FUCK

This is grounds for murder tbh. Straight up mock execution

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

They're lucky someone didn't walk into the store, see a guy pointing a gun at people cowering on the floor, then open fire with a real gun, thinking they're saving the lives of three people. Like holy shit there's so much that can go wrong here. Especially if some cop saw this going down and decided this was the perfect time to spray and pray a store.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

check the one I posted last year with the same title, let me grab it for ya

https://hexbear.net/post/3001966

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

The Clint Eastwood gif in the original thread is most appropriate.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

he is hacking the suspension bridge effect.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

Ah yeah Inside Edition, being classy since forever.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'd say yes just to take the ring, sell that bitch, buy some Pabst and just get tanked.

What a fucking clown.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

M'am the beer is going to treat you way better than he is.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

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