this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2024

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My Little Résumé rulé (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

44 comments fedilink hide all child comments

alt-text

A "My Little Resume" in the style of My Little Pony, with some sections redacted.

Rough OCR:

This little pony went to in He graduated with highest honors and even received a departmental award for academic excellence! While at he cultivated an ongoing love for...

Computer Science & Mathematics!

For two years he worked as a tutor for the Computer Science department. He loves passing on his knowledge and getting everyone excited about computer science!

One summer he worked for the National Institute of Standards and Technology. He developed an online tool for analyzing thermal neutron triple-axis spectrometry data. He even had his very own nuclear reactor to play with!

The next year he had an Extreme Blue internship with IBM. He worked with a team of interns at the Almaden Research Center to develop technology related to online shopping. But he's not allowed to talk about it too much! (He signed a non-disclosure)

After graduation he galloped off to work as a radio DJ, and freelance web developer. He produces stunning, high quality websites for all the nice ponies hanging out in the

For a few months he dabbled in domestication, working for a startup in San Francisco called. He spearheaded major projects, infrastructure upgrades and code cleaning frenzies while ensuring that thousands of hardworking ponies got quality, catered lunches of grains, oats, and grasses every day! The daily plough just wasn't for him though, so he threw off the bit and bridle and galloped back to He still does contract work for on other companies on occasion, and in the fall he'll be heading off to a computer science Ph.D. program at the University of Washington!

The adventure is far from over... What will this little pony do next, who knows??

Pony Stats
Education
School: '12
Major: Computer Science
Minor: Mathematics
GPA: 3.74
Major GPA: 3.98

Favorites
Languages: C, Python
Editor: Vim
Subjects: Machine Learning, Computer Vision, Compilers

Awards/Achievements
Academic Achievement
Place at ACM-ICPC BOSPRE 2 years in a row, at NE North American Regionals in 2010
Top 5% in Give Me Some Credit, kaggle.com's largest ML competition to date

top 44 comments

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Fuck it, I'd hire them.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

There are two kinds of resumes: This and the boring kind

[–] [email protected] 78 points 3 months ago (2 children)

There are two types of people...

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 months ago

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

1.85 of the 2 people would hire them and 0.15 of the people would throw it in the trash

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

How would 0.15 person throw anything in the trash?

Doubt they can still move.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

He's currently president, show some respect

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (3 children)

vim

Checks out

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Guess which Linux distro he's using?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Who said it needs to be Linux?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I fucking love my neovim so much vim is so good

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

There's dozens of us! Dozens!

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'd interview you, mostly to see if you're real.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

He is. Just about anyone who works in computer vision based machine learning knows this man. He's insane and I would hire him on the spot, but there's no way a company I work for could afford what he's worth.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago

People who don't put their horse cock dimensions into their resume don't deserve to have their CVs read.

Next!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

... why does it censor the red pony's... oh, it's a butt logo. Okay. Somehow that makes this less weird.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I know that what's censored on two of the ponies is probably logos of schools he attended or something and he doesn't want that much identifying info out there, but I choose to believe what's censored is clop content.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

whats clop

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You sweet summer child.

The term refers to My Little Pony porn. Or it can be used as a verb to refer to what someone who really likes MLP porn does while viewing MLP porn.

The term "clop" is used by bronies very similarly to how furries use the term "yiff".

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

that makes sense, thanks

also i prefer winter :]

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm sorry, it's over, and you missed the wrap-up.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

dammit

[–] [email protected] 43 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Instantly fucking hired

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Instantly hiring fbonk!

[–] [email protected] 71 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Is… is this a real resume? Did an adult make this on purpose?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

It's Joseph Redmon, creator of the YOLO object detection neural net architecture, which is very widely used.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Besides what others have mentioned, I'm pretty sure nothing on the resume matters anymore except hitting automatically checked keywords. I've seen some formatting nightmares get through the first levels of filtering, and nobody cares about the resume after that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Im imagining an amazon listing as the title and body. Please give me an example of one of these nightmares.

[–] [email protected] 100 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Yes, I’ve seen this resume before.

I think it’s ironic. The guy is quite influential in his field, so he doesn’t really need a resume.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I think if you can use a resume like this without any concern of hurting your prospects, that’s how you know you’ve found success.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago

Ftr I would submit a resume similar to this in a heartbeat, completely seriously, if I thought I could get away with it.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago

Ironic?

I guess that's as good an explanation as any.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I think we both know the answer

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Is the answer "we live in a broken world and nothing matters"?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Imagine getting all nihilistic about a pony cartoon

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

Yes I was 100% normal until I saw this, this is definitely what got me all nihilistic

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

Kinda, but with a more positive spin than you may be putting on it.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Plot twist, he is applying for the job of Creative Director at My Little Pony

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That is the only time I see this abomination not getting instantly shredded. Nobody wants this on their desk, unless they put it in a folder for examples of what not to do.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Is work in an HR department so dull that you can't even admire that little sillyness in your othewise probablyquite boring job?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

This resume is far from a little silliness. It punched through silliness and came out the other side, making you question wtf the creator is thinking. Are they sabotaging their own job application intentionally? Are they so deep into the pony stuff that they think it's normal?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

I have never met an HR person that appreciates silliness. Don't think they exist.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

I fear much of the fun will be lost in Applicant Tracking System’s translation to plain text :(