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I loooooove Chick tracts. I collect them.
Always on the lookout for Lisa in which the family doctor lets a dad know that he gave his own daughter herpes but it’s okay because he helps the dad find Jesus and stop being a rapist. That one got pulled pretty quickly.
So, hell has education, the best music, strippers, drugs, all the cool people, orgies etc. Heaven has boring ignorant church people who find hetero sexuality more important then the love for their own child. So why would I want to go to heaven instead of hell? Christians aren't presenting a strong case here. When you're making shit up, why not create a heaven which is awesome instead? With our Holy Noodle, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, heaven consists of beer volcanoes and strippers. Hell consists of beer volcanoes and strippers too, but the beer is passed its expired date and the strippers have STD's. This is how you promote your fictional afterlife, like it's better then the alternative. I'd rather go to a place with hot strippers and cocain instead of a heaven full of unvaccinated babies and child molesters.
Reminds me of a punchline to a dirty joke.
“Don’t you dare question how I [satan] torture them.”
Important question: does it have garlic bread tho
Reply "how did you know I was into old man on furry roleplay?" then when they go off on their god crap, tear it in half and toss it and yell "NEXT!"
I wish I had gotten these when I worked retail, instead I got... blatantly bigoted shit.
The only one I ever got was right after the Soviet Union fell but while Gorbachev was still president and it was called "IS THE RUSSIAN BEAR READY TO STRIKE?" and it claimed that the fall of the Soviet Union was a ruse and Gorbachev was about to launch a nuclear strike because his name was actually pronounced GOGRBACHEV like Gog and Magog in the Bible.
It was amusing but the text was way too dense.
Always said dad looked like a silver back.
My favorite one is the Christian student against the professor. "Gluons aren't real because you cannot see them. Actually it is Jesus holding atoms together."
I can't see Jesus...or God......oh wait!
As someone who had to simulate the strong force, this actually makes a lot of sense.
If I were the professor, I would be fine as long as the student were to tell the definition of a Gluon when I asked them to define "Jesus".
A name is a name is a name.
But then you could break Jesus if you smashed into him with enough force.
Don't threaten him with a good time...
I once found an entire stack of Chick Tracts, I stole them all to laugh at. Amazing to see in person.
I had no idea what these were. Then I realized I had taken some weird bookets from this one weird store. On the back they say CHICK. So I guess I have some chick tracts now. One is called "Love the Jewish People" and the other "This was your life!"
Yeah, he loves us jews because we must exist in order for the end times to happen. He's very fucking weird about it though.
I mean, he's weird about everything though.
Isn't he dead?
Apparently not
He died in 2016. Fred Carter did a good amount of the art and took over near the end (cough but he’s black so they left his name out cough). Carter died last year too, no idea who’s drawing new ones (if they’re making new ones)
Very!
He had people drawing the comics for quite some time before he died though, so it's just. Continuing as far as I could tell.
They're all free on his website. I go there sometimes if I need a laugh.
Indeed, I've read a lot of them! I just try to not give the website more views lately.
Also finding them physically out in the wild is extremely rare, it was the only time I've seen more than like...one. And that one was attached to my front door XD
Also finding them physically out in the wild is extremely rare
Well I guess I'm lucky?
They were more common back in the...80s, 90s, at geek conventions where he'd proselytize. Otherwise they aren't super common because I think people just don't know about them much anymore.
You can bulk order a random assortment though, if you're inclined to about people and don't care the specific message!
I got a booklet full of them as a prize in a carnival game held by a church
Worry no longer! Knowing that the Internet Archive has everything, I looked and- voila!
Hey Fuck-O! We like to call it inter-species erotica.
Today's Chick Tract: Jack's barely disguised fetish
Isn't that all of them?