Taught her to walk with her hands put behind like an old man https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BOTUuz_t7A
this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2024
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Teach her about Poseidon's Kiss.
Using capitals
Give her some unconventional future career ideas. Non-edgy ones, of course. I think it would be pretty funny if after a visit from an uncle your kid was talking about sailing knots or embalming procedures or something.
I taught my niece to say "I can't work like this!". That was fun!
We got my niece to speak a little Klingon.
What I like to do with kids that age is cartwheels. One hand, two hands, one foot, two feet.
Good time to introduce them to interesting foods too.
Spitting watermelon seeds really far is also fun.
The macarena.
If you know how, teach her how to whistle real high using the fingers on top of the tongue. One way is by making an O with the thumb and the index finger, bending/rolling your tongue backwards a bit and pressing your fingers against it.
Oh look at Mr You can just do it this way or that way.
I STILL CANT WHISTLE ALL YOU WHISLTING ELITISTS!!!
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Me neither. I can buzz my lips to a melody without a needing an actual horn, though.
Do you play a brass instrument?
I did for like a decade. I'd still play, but I was never as good as my peers, and that shit's expensive.
It still took a long time to nail the exact movements down, after I made the sound accidentally a couple times. There's no resonance to rely on the way you can for low brass, at least.
Teach her to say "I was born on a pirate ship"
Once she's able to say it properly, tell her to open her mouth with a finger at each corner and say the phrase again. Get her to shout it out
Then tell her to show her new trick to mom and dad.
I have had pretty good luck with doing
High five Up high Down low Too slow
My nephew would just let me do it forever, always trying to beat me on the too slow bit.
That white cows make milk for white coffee and black cows make milk for black coffee.
No no no. White cows make milk. Brown cows make chocolate milk.
And strawberry milk comes from red cows.
*mooshrooms
Where's my axe
The drums.
Or a less chaotic-evil suggestion, that water-drop sound made by flicking your cheek.
I think the water drop sound with your mouth is more chaotic evil than drums.
I taught my 18 month year old niece the sound a dinosaur makes. ROOOOOOOAAAR
Poker. And proper bluffing.
Low-key one of the worst things I think you can possibly teach a child. I've actually considered this with my nieces because it would be fun, but teaching kids how to lie convincingly is just a terrible idea on every possible front.
I taught my kid to say "mom drinks beer for breakfast" as soon as she could talk. Wasn't that popular with the family xD
Lol! That reminds me of how (when AOL was thing and I was probably way too young to be on it but would use it to talk to family) my mom had me type out and send "I bought a bunch of cars and RECTUM!" via email or AIM out of nowhere to random family members with no context, even though I had no idea why that was funny, but she thought it was hilarious. Which is pretty damn funny looking back!
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