No Stupid Questions

I went with moissanite. It's sparklier than diamond. My wife still gets compliments on it years later.

You want a plain ring to go with your plain fiancée, is that how it is?

Next thing you know she'll be dreaming of a guy with wavy hair and chestnut eyes.

I got our engagement rings from a gumball machine. Was really hard to find. And even harder to find one that sold rings. When I had finally found one I didn't have a single 20 cent coin it required on me. I flagged down passerby from across the street. She gave me two coins and refused to take my one Euro in exchange.

Those two coins netted me five balls, which included three rings. I selected the most beautiful and headed home.

We've been married for over 13 years so far.

From when my partner and I bought our ring set, we went to a gem shop instead of a jewelry store. We had three rings given to us by family members, and wanted to rework them into a new set for me and then get a matching ring for my husband. Every jewelry store we went to wanted $6-8k to do the rework. We ended up at the gem shop as a last resort, because we were both over it. The gem shop reworked and made my engagement ring, wedding band, added a lab grown sapphire, and found a ring for my husband for $1900 total. And they did it all on our timeframe of two weeks.

My advice is to shop around and talk to people. All the big jewelry shops were so expensive, and smaller businesses will probably be better on your budget.

Shout out to Bob's Gem Shop in Escondido, California! They got us a great deal and I love our set. 😍

if she will go for it get a 100 pack of rubber or silicon rings (dollor store) they look nice from the distance strangers should look and no worry about lost rings and no safety worries.

Remember there are other precious stones than diamonds. Ruby, emerald, sapphire. For me, they're all prettier than diamonds, and have a much longer tradition.

Wow, tough crowd. At no point did you say you were looking at typical diamonds but you're still getting jumped. My interpretation is that you're not interested in mined diamonds and are already aware of the massive ethical issues.

I can't tell you if she actually wants an expensive ring with a big rock, despite what that other comment assures you. That's something you have to determine. My SO wanted something pretty and durable, not expensive. She meant it. She also picked a stone in her favorite color. I think it's flanked by small diamonds for that sparkle but it was only $350 at a department store. I guess at this point I should mention why she did all the shopping and why I don't really know: I proposed with a paper ring and quoted Taylor Swift in doing so. Rather than take a guess and potentially be way off from what she's been looking at on her own, she was able to choose it herself. Some people may be upset that you didn't do all the traditional work, but that's between you and your SO and for you to determine acceptability. A woman with established desires (beyond price) in a ring has likely already done a ton of shopping.

If she tends to be rough with her hands, diamonds are still the most durable stone available. It will take most stones a long time to be visibly scratched, but it happens - especially around sand. That also means if she loses jewelry, the ring may not be around long enough to matter.

I wouldn't recommend silver since it's softer and tarnished a little faster than the other options.

As far as cut, you're really getting into an opinionated area. Some people like the traditional cartoon cut, some like an older oval, some a rectangle, etc. It depends on her style and how loud she wants her jewelry to be.

It's a very variable topic. The only thing I can say, and this applies to many things, is that when you get down to the final 5ish options, no one else will know what you chose between. You'll forget too. They'll probably all be nearly identical if you were to describe them on paper without a picture. There's no such thing as perfect but you always come to simply accept something for being what it is. I went through this with dozens of paint chips when remodeling a house. Once the walls are painted, your guests will never know nor care how long you spent choosing between G305-03 and G306-03.

I watch a youtuber who does reaction videos with her boyfriend. She said she'd rather have a blow-pop than a diamond.

Her reasoning is that blowpops are way cheaper, so you can use that money saved on your future together.

..........but maybe don't do that unless your fiancee is cool.

Diamonds are a commodity like gold and silver. You can buy market value diamonds from a dealer and then have a ring made. Even for synthetic diamonds this is the cheapest way to get a diamond ring.

avoid diamonds. there are prettier (and more humane) stones. not to mention: more affordable

instead, choose a stone and metal that reflect your and your intended's personalities rather than some boring thing billions of others have.

Lab diamonds are "fake" diamonds. Artificial and natural diamonds only differ in their level of human suffering and exploitation, with natural diamonds being higher in both.

Band metal depends on taste and costs. Platinum is the most expensive and best IMO, gold is kind of out of style(does she wear gold rings?), white gold is budget platinum, silver is cheap platinum that tarnishes.

Get a lab diamond with both your birth stones flanking it. For the band, I would go with white gold unless she wears gold rings a lot or you can afford platinum.

Also, she wants an expensive ring regardless of what she told you. She wants a giant rock on her finger when she shows it off, but should be absolutely ecstatic for anything you get. Talk to her married friends' husbands and don't get a bigger diamond than they got if you want to be a bro.

If you can, look into local jewelers who can craft you something handmade with ethically sourced stones. I’m in Seattle and we have Valerie Madison who does great engagement sets and Everling Jewelry who uses recycled metals. A local artist will be able to recommend something within your budget, and your SO can and should be involved, as another poster mentioned.

My wife and I picked out her ring together. She has to wear it all the time. I think she should have say in the matter. Ask your partner to help you pick one out.