No Stupid Questions

Don't listen to commercials.... 3 months salary as a guideline .... My Ass!

By now you should know her tastes. Or just ask her about it. She's the one who's gonna wear it.

I used a sapphire. I'm a ceramic engineer, and sapphire is just alumina, so I think it's cool, and you can get basically any color you want.

I have Moissy ring and it's gorgeous. I'd have been pissed to get something that cost more. It's really a pretty stone, and durable as fuck.

You will need an idea of her taste in jewelry, ask her literally to send you pictures of what she likes. I think a solitaire is best and that is way more affordable if it's not diamond, or at least that was true when we were getting engaged.

I saw a ring that opens beers… I’ve never a more useful engagement band.

My SO and I discussed that engagement rings shouldn’t be expensive.

Correct answer. This indicates that the two of you have at least some kind of head on your shoulders.

I used a literal piece of costume jewelry for the proposal. It was very shiny, but only $10. The point of this was, we got a "real" engagement ring afterwards and she could pick what she wanted rather than me doing it for her and getting it wrong. We ultimately settled on a moissanite rock which is, it must be said, hella sparkly. And significantly cheaper than getting a diamond which she'd be forever fearful of losing or smashing out of the setting, or whatever. After visiting quite a few jewelry places, believe it or not the place where we found the one she loved was at Walmart. I still feel sophisticated to this very day.

Fellas, if your chickie is more worried about how shiny a pebble you've brought her is rather than, you know, the person bringing it, what you have yourself there is a problem.

Yo! I will tell you what I did. I found a standard ring. Nothing fancy. Just a solitaire (ring with one rock on the top). The key part was that I went with a company that allowed trade ups. Meaning that I could return the ring for full price after the purchase as long as I was using the money to buy a more expensive ring. So I did that. Bought the normal standard ring, did the proposal, then went to get a new ring by trading it in so my partner could get one they absolutely loved.

IMO lab grown vs real diamonds are a non issue. They all look and act the same aside from having a laser etch.

For gold silver platinum, up to you. Again, you can always go standard and trade up (as long as the company does that).

I used to work at a jewelers. A good quality moissanite is gonna be as close to an actual diamond you can get without getting an actual diamond if that's what you're looking for.

As far as metals, gold is the traditional choice but sterling is both less expensive and more durable. If you do go with gold, I would opt for 14 kt over 18 kt personally. The higher the karat number, the purer the gold, which sounds like a good thing but from a practical standpoint is a bit of a PITA because this in effect means higher karats are both more expensive and more fragile because gold is soft. Since typically an engagement ring is worn every day, something that can handle some wear and tear is a plus.

For settings, look for something fairly low with prongs that have a decent heft to them. Tall settings bump into shit ALL THE TIME and eventually the prongs tens to shift and the stone goes flying (again, gold is soft).

Also, look at her other jewelry and talk to her about what her tastes are. There's no rule that says it "has to be" anything if a more standard ring isn't her thing. Going with her favorite color or her birthstone and working from there can be a good option.

Okay so. There's a lot of factors that go into this; make sure it's a gem she likes, not just diamond for the sake of diamond. Get synthetic; the entire "natural" diamond industry is a scam. It doesn't hurt to go with something custom, but keep in mind one important thing that I should have.

If your fiance is somebody who tends to lose things, go cheaper and get copies. I learned this the hard way, and it's a very painful lesson to learn. If she's some kind of scatterbrain or klutz, not to be rude but you need to be clinical about this, you're better off spending a couple of hundred bucks and getting like five of them and just putting the extras in a safe or something.

Because honestly the worst thing in the world is having her in tears because she lost something that important, plus the disappointment you will inevitably feel when she lost something so expensive. I know this is probably a niche issue, but you have to be objective about these kinds of things.

Nenya

https://www.wetanz.com/us/nenya-the-ring-of-galadriel

That was my wife's engagement ring, it was $75 at the time we bought it. Mine is a wood and titanium band that cost us $17.

Alternatively you could consider something that isn't a ring. My fiancee is very cat coded, I gave her a gold cat bell that she loves and wears all the time. Got it from Mene dot Com which is a bonus because they're more ethical and transparent about their gold and pay which is something my fiancee is into.

I am not sure what you mean with value. Unless you are planning to resell them again, what does the value matter?

We got each other rings made off Etsy. Hers are a nesting set that we later bonded

Most of the time we are wearing silicone rings out

If they've got favorite colors or colors that hold special meaning to them, prioritize gems with those colors over diamonds.

Even elaborate pieces will still be cheaper than an equivalent diamond ring because the prices are that overinflated for those things.

Also if they like purple, see if you can get the body of the ring in purple gold if it's in the budget, might not be as much of a cost conscious choice as seeking alternative gems but it'll look sick!

We went with moissanite, and everyone thinks its an insanely expensive diamond

Moissanite is sparklier than diamond, so for what people look at in rings, it ends up looking better than diamond

I spent more than I should have about 3 years ago, but I HIGHLY recommend the lab diamonds. I was able to get better quality for less price.

I looked into Moissante, and whether or not you should get that is really up to her. A doofus like me would never know it's not a diamond, but many people would. Definitely DO NOT try to pass it off as a diamond, because she'll find out one way or another. If you were proposing to me, (don't get your hopes up, I'm taken) and told me that we could save a thousand dollars by going with Moissante, I'd be all for it because I'm cheap and tradition doesn't mean much to me, but most people aren't like me.

I know it's tricky to get information without ruining the surprise, so what I did was send her a message while I was at work: "The girls here are having a debate on whether or not a fake diamond is acceptable for an engagement ring. 😂". Her response told me everything I needed to know about Moissante.

Good luck! Don't forget to invite us to the wedding!

Probably different depending on region. Our engagement rings were slate white gold and platinum. When we picked out her wedding ring we first went to jewelers. Everything there was kinda ugly. No elegance, just mass-produced bulky stuff. Unless you want to cough up at least 3000€. So we checked an auction house. Found a gorgeous diamond ring from the 1930s, real elegant and you could see the craftsmanship in every little detail. And I got it for 400€. Then took it to a jeweler to size it and engrave it.

So that could be an option.

I got one that has another kind of stone as the main stone with cubic zirconias around it. That sort of arrangement isn't too expensive, and more interesting than a diamond.

Don't do a plain silver band. They tarnish and cause irritation. The band should be either a metal that doesn't tarnish, or coated in one.

If it doesn't give her the ick and she likes the classic styles, used jewelry is the way to go. It's already had the "walk out of store" depreciation and I think engravings on most rings are pretty easy to replace.

As a more personal recommendation, when I ahem "outgrew" my own engagement ring and was too lazy/cheap to resize, I got a "temporary" replacement 10? years ago from here. It was supposed to be moissanite in titanium, did an XRF analysis and the band material was some sort of nickel-less maybe steel IIRC. No idea if the moissanite is genuine, but it's held up way better than any CZ has, and the band has kept better than silver so props to that.