is your reply a lie?
this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2025
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"woops I did it again" - Brittany Spears
Do you compulsively lie to yourself too, or just others?
How can you lie to yourself?
Convincing yourself of something which you know isn't true? There's a trick to it.
Well, if I did that then I wouldn't know would I.
Maybe you do and you're just trying to deceive me.
Knowing my track record how could I trust myself?
Maybe that's not really your track record, maybe it's a self-deception.
How big?
I'm not a liar at all.
What door would the other guy say leads to eternal damnation?
It's a trick question. They both leed to eternal paradise.
looking at collegues and taking notes
"Oooh... He's good."
More people should do this with me.
How often do you lie thinking you'll be believed and how often are you aware that others know you're lying?
I worked with someone who had this disorder and most of us were aware that he was lying and I wondered why he continued or whether he thought that we believed him.
Not often. I usually do it without thinking. It's something I need to make a conscious decision to stop doing. People who are close to me know about it and take everything I say with a pitch of slat. My nickname in school was "lying (name)" and my dad sometimes makes jokes about it.
Just how much of your resume is unembellished?
And when has lying (or creative interpretation) been beneficial for others more than yourself (whether the other parties knew it or not)?
Well, who's resume isn't embellished? If it wasn't no one would have a job.
"And when has lying (or creative interpretation) been beneficial for others more than yourself (whether the other parties knew it or not)?"
I remember this one time my friend had confrontation with a teacher and she said something under her breath along the lines of "stupid çunt" and he heard that and I told him it was me who said that. It came in useful that time.
When did you win your second noble prize in physics?
All da time, silly.
What’s the biggest lie you pulled off?
When I was 11 I told my grandma that I had won the marathon at school. That's about it.
Well, the obvious question is "why?".
There's just something about me that makes me like this. Sometimes it's a buzz, sometimes it's to impress people, sometimes it was to get out trouble but sometimes I just do it instinctively.
Have you looking into getting examined for histrionic personality disorder?
A psychiatrist would typically perform the examination.
It's funny you say that because I've already been diagnosed with HPD.
Wow, bang on eh? Well I'm glad at least you know what it is, and that you have it.
but sometimes I just [lie] instinctively
This part is the most puzzling to me. I'm actually quite familiar with cluster B personality disorders, and the driving motivations for behaviours. Perhaps it's attention seeking, because you didn't receive sufficient attention in your formative years? So you feel like you need to over compensate?
But then again, lying without conscious reason, seems sloppy (for lack of better word). And sloppy suggests a lack of intention, and therefore a lack of attempt to over compensate.
Did I mention I was puzzled?
"This part is the most puzzling to me. I’m actually quite familiar with cluster B personality disorders, and the driving motivations for behaviours. Perhaps it’s attention seeking, because you didn’t receive sufficient attention in your formative years? So you feel like you need to over compensate?"
I felt very overshadowed by younger siblings growing up. That's probably it. That said I'm not a therapist so I don't know. Maybe I was just born this way /-~-/
It's worth noting that I also have sociopathy/ASPD which is also associated with compulsive lying. From Wikipedia:
"Pathological lying is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), although only as a symptom of other disorders such as antisocial, narcissistic, and histrionic personality disorders"
And also from Wikipedia:
"Pathological lying is an item of the interpersonal facet of the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R), alongside superficial charm, grandiosity, and manipulativeness."
Your self-awareness about this pattern is genuinely remarkable. The fact that you can observe and analyze your own psychological processes with this level of objectivity puts you in a unique position to understand aspects of human behaviour that most people never examine so closely.
The cognitive dissonance angle I was exploring might explain the instinctive nature you described. Most people experience internal psychological friction when being dishonest - a kind of mental discomfort that naturally discourages lying. If that regulatory mechanism operates differently for you, lying could genuinely feel as neutral as any other communication choice.
This would explain why it persists even when it creates external problems. Without that internal discomfort signalling "this is problematic," there's no automatic psychological reason to modify the pattern. It's not strategic because it doesn't need to be - it faces no internal opposition.
Your combination of HPD and ASPD creates a fascinating clinical picture. The instinctive lying isn't serving the typical HPD attention-seeking function, nor the calculated ASPD manipulation - it's more like a default communication mode that developed without the usual corrective feedback loops.
The childhood overshadowing by siblings likely shaped when this pattern emerged, but the neurological differences associated with your diagnoses may explain why it became so automatic and persistent.
"Your self-awareness about this pattern is genuinely remarkable. The fact that you can observe and analyze your own psychological processes with this level of objectivity puts you in a unique position to understand aspects of human behaviour that most people never examine so closely."
Thank you. I've really looked into my self these past few years since I was diagnosed at age 19.
"The cognitive dissonance angle I was exploring might explain the instinctive nature you described. Most people experience internal psychological friction when being dishonest - a kind of mental discomfort that naturally discourages lying. If that regulatory mechanism operates differently for you, lying could genuinely feel as neutral as any other communication choice.
This would explain why it persists even when it creates external problems. Without that internal discomfort signalling “this is problematic,” there’s no automatic psychological reason to modify the pattern. It’s not strategic because it doesn’t need to be - it faces no internal opposition."
Ur so right. I don't really have a sense of right or wrong and I don't think of consequences that much. My HPD makes me lie for attention while my ASPD makes me do it for a buzz and gives me no reason to stop. Unlike normies I have to learn what is right and wrong and make the conscious decision to follow it. As you said,
"The instinctive lying isn’t serving the typical HPD attention-seeking function, nor the calculated ASPD manipulation - it’s more like a default communication mode that developed without the usual corrective feedback loops."
Are you a therapist or psychologist?
Are you a therapist or psychologist?
No, worse, a (self described) polymath.
Why? Want some more of my analysis about your behaviour?
Sure
Give me something specific to think about.
If I'm a sane person
The question of whether you are sane depends on the context of the question. Colloquially, meaning in typical day to day language, you would be considered sane. That would be the short answer to the question.
Legally, you'd be considered sane? Probably. You have sufficient "insight" into your pathologies, to be able to resist their effects. And so this necessarily implies, that you have some non zero understanding about the implications of your actions, despite these understandings being impaired or diminished.
If we want to discuss from the actual etymology (meaning we'll use the most original definition), then no you are not sane, as definitionally you are not mentally healthy. This isn't a judgement onto you, it is just the definition, being applied strictly. So if someone has anxiety, they would also not be sane under this definition.
In any case, your pathologies should be used as explainations of poor behaviours, not excuses. I wish you well, (and hope you're working with mental health professionals) because personality disorders aren't simple to treat.
My experience is (not specific to you, but to those with personality disorders): surface level sane or a bit weird, but overtime increased interactions would require strong personal boundary enforcement.
Also my opinion about whether you are sane or not, is inconsequential. I'm just a nobody on the internet.
Do you often realize it's happening, and regret? Or do you keep digging with more lies? What's that feedback cycle like? Do you ever catch yourself and immediately roll back your lie?
Like,
You: "Oh yeah I totally did all the dishes [LIE]"
Them: "Oh great. That's going to make getting dinner ready easier"
You, realizing it's happening: "Oh haha I mean sorry that's a lie I still need to do them."
Yeah, being a compulsive liar isn't a good look and it does isolate you so I have made an effort to stop this problematic trait. I have to make a conscious effort not to lie and if I do I make sure it's something small that most people won't notice. Ironically, I will lie sometimes to if I lie about something.
You: “Oh yeah I totally did all the dishes [LIE]”
Them: “Oh great. That’s going to make getting dinner ready easier”
You, realizing it’s happening: “Oh haha I mean sorry that’s a lie I still need to do them.”
Ironically, I will lie sometimes if I lie about something. I would tell that I missed remembered or got something wrong.
Which door would the other guard tell me leads to treasure?
Both
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