this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Never experienced something like that, especially with metal fans who - in my opinion - are some of the most welcoming bunch.

Perhaps it's different in the US, but here in Germany that scenario seems unlikely.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

In the UK I've found the extremes to be on both sides, although this largely aligns with the punk movement here from decades ago.

Some metal fans are the nicest people you could hope to meet. One guy I met in a bar a month or so ago got talking to me because I noticed his Hatebreed shirt, and we got to talking about music, our kids, and life in general. I remember talking about tummy time with him, and before I left he had called his wife to ask what his daughter really liked, and rushed to give me the link so that I could buy it.

Some are also utter bells. One guy I met years ago gave me shit for liking The Used's set at Taste Of Chaos years ago, despite it basically being an emo festival that he also attended. He apparently only went for Killswitch Engage...so spent a fuck-ton to see one band while he seethed about the rest. I met another guy in a bar a year or so ago that was a huge dick to some women because one of them wore a Sleep Token shirt. He kept asking them to say what their favourite songs were, gave them shit because they were the newer songs, and then went on a rant about how they're not even a metal band because they "basically do pop now".

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The German metal scene is way more left leaning than most other, that's probably it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

It's pretty apolitical. It's about the music (and getting drunk).

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

2 Minutes to Midnight

Aces High

Wasted Years


I'm gonna get a lot of shit for this, but I never really liked Iron Maiden and Slayer.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Iron Maiden and Slayer are vastly different

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And The Trooper!

Out of curiosity, why don’t you like either of these bands?

I’ve always liked Iron Maiden. Good songs with great lyrics. Not a big fan of Slayer tho.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I dunno, Iron Maiden sounded cliche to me listening to later metal bands from the era. Pantera is what got me into the genre.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Were they cliché or did they create the cliché, very different things.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I totally get it. Relative to Pantera and other 90s metal they can sound antiquated for sure.

Sonically speaking Iron Maiden always intrigued me.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

jajaja como el animal

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

uhhhhh. money on the dash, chipi chipi chapa chapa and uh (Nendest) narkootikumidest me (küll) ei tea midagi

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

People listing Iron Maiden songs missing the entire point.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

They just like maiden, and that's fine.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I have been listening to metal basically half my life (15+ years) but can barely name artists or song names let alone remember lyrics. my memory truly sucks (also does not help that most are not in my native language).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

let alone remember lyrics

The secret is we don't actually understand what they are singing either.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Haha same. I've been listening to metal, hardcore, thrash and punk for like 25+ years, i listen to music pretty much all day if i can. I hardly know song titles, i even have trouble remembering band names. When i was younger i went to like 2 or 3 concerts a week, but i never fucking knew what the bands even looked like, nor did i really care.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Forgive my ignorance but I don't see why that's an unreasonable request

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

In these situations the asker is typically skeptical that your a "real fan", usually because of sexism.

It doesn't really matter how you answer because they're not asking for a genuine conversation, they want a dick measuring contest to prove they are superior. If you do fulfill their request chances are they'll nitpick the songs you chose and still accuse you of being a "fake fan".

Gatekeeping often comes with moving the goalpost so the only winning move is not to play.

A genuine asker would probably ask about your favorites rather than demand they answer trivia.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Do you believe that everyone needs to prove their fandom at a moments notice with inane trivia about that thing?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I hardly consider the names of three of the band's songs "inane trivia"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

To name three songs or to get away from her?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Here's how the conversation could go without sounding like an ass:

Him: Cool shirt. Do you like Iron Maiden?

Her: No, I just like this shirt.

Him: That's cool. They're one of my favourite bands. If you wanna hangout sometime I'd love to introduce them to you?

Maybe not the last sentence but can you get the difference in tone?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

She doesn't owe him anything.

It's basically accusing her of cultural appropriation, just for wearing a t-shirt she likes.

The question implies skepticism that she is an authentic fan. It's a form of gatekeeping, based in misogyny and rigid social conformity.

Even if she doesn't really know iron maiden's music, so what? It's perfectly reasonable to choose your shirts based on styles and colours you like. I wore a Popeye the sailor t-shirt yesterday, I would not be prepared to talk about my favorite episodes.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What if she was a man instead?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

In what reality is it important to pull someone's card. You can ask anybody wearing a shirt what their favorite song is or if they've seen them live. That's actually acceptable, because you're interested in their subjective experiences. Publically announcing to someone that you want to out-group them over a trivial matter is not.

Edit: and generally, that's how men interact with each other. But some take the existence of a woman in their fandom to be a direct attack on their already incredibly fragile masculinity.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

The same holds true? Can't be that hard not to be an asshole.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

I disagree that gatekeeping is either of those things. I also don't think it's unreasonable to ask people not to publicly associate themselves with a thing if they know nothing at all about that thing.

The bar is on the floor here.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Gatekeeping isn't inherently misogynistic or conformist, but the motivations in cases like this probably are.

I also don't think it's unreasonable to ask people not to publicly associate themselves with a thing if they know nothing at all about that thing.

Nobody owes anyone an explanation of how entitled they are to wear a band's t-shirt.

I've listened to enough iron maiden to know that I like the band, but could only name one song off the top of my head. Do I have your permission to wear their t-shirt?

You're channeling the same energy as someone that feels entitled to know about a stranger's genitals if their bone structure seems misaligned with the gender they're presenting.

It's so easy to not be an asshole watch this:

Slayer fan:

Iron maiden! Nice! I saw them play at XXXX back in XXXX. It was a wicked show.

Iron maiden fan:

Oh wow, that sounds so fun! I've just learned about them, but I'd love to see them in concert someday. The metal community is so welcoming!

Or:

Oh wow. I don't really listen to them, but they were my cousin's favorite band, she died recently, so I wear this shirt when I'm missing her.

Or:

Oh wow, I was at that show too!

Or:

my uncle is the drummer and is always giving me these

Or:

Uh huh? I just like the colours of the shirt.

Life is so much better if you don't make nasty assumptions.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

For fuck's sake, what's nasty about the assumption that someone wearing a band's merch likes the band?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Nothing, wrong with assuming someone likes the band who's shirt they're wearing.

What's nasty is assuming that they don't, (because of how they look) and demanding they prove their fan credentials.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Gatekeeping really is not either of these things, but people can wear whatever they like. I can't say I get why someone would do it at all, but not my problem.

There's a huge difference between using it as a conversation starter and asking about their favorite songs or whatever, since it's reasonable to assume they know and like the band, and going "name 3 songs" because you assume they don't listen to the band and also somehow care about that.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What people choose to associate themselves with in public is exactly fuck all of your business. Don't be like the meme guy, tend to your own garden.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's completely my business! It's the only reasonable way for fans of a thing to find each other in public and strike up a conversation about that thing. If I go up to someone wearing a Portal shirt and talk to them about my favorite parts of the game and associated media only to find out they've never even watched the trailers, and I ask them I can introduce them to the game and do the co-op campaign with them and they say they never intend to...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Pfft.

Without even looking: Prowler, Remember Tomorrow, Phantom of the Opera, Running Free, Transylvania, Charlotte the Harlot, Iron Maiden's gonna getcha no matter how far, Iron Maiden wants you for dead!

Man, I love the first two albums. Paul couldn't sing much but he screamed really well.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Normalise responding with "Name 3 women who trust you that aren't your mother" (I know she counts for 3)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

For a lot of these fucks, I'd accept family members if it were true. People take low bars as exercises in tripping.

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