me_irl

Okay just play devil's advocate. The coma splices may not be as improper as you suggest . There is currently a debate among language scholars about this very thing. The question being is short form text, spoken work or written word. The way we use a text message or similar, is much more like the spoken word than the written word. Plus we are using in place of spoken word. So many linguists feel that it is acceptable to write it as we speak instead of how the rule of the written word dictate.

I have a sick (but not dying) sister with 3 kids. As far as work are concerned, I visit every fortnight to help out and rush up to see them every time there's an emergency or they need childcare.

I haven't seen the sister in four years and only see my nephews twice a year when they visit Grandma but work don't need to know that

just lie and tell them you have a kid

double down, even, and tell them the kid has a debilitating chronic disease that you regularly need to take time off work to bring to appointments and provide support for.

now you have even more free time

Says who? You can afford to get yourself a nice lego set every holiday, you ain't got no crotch fruit taking all your moneys

It's the most basic survival instinct maybe? Jesus what a dumb fucking comment, holy shit.

Here’s the way I see it: we are social creatures, and our relationships define a lot about us and our lives. A parent’s relationship with a child is a very significant one, which can be very rewarding in the right circumstances. We all know the cliche about “if we have a baby it will fix this relationship” and similar.

The drive to reproduce seems like an evolutionary necessity. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for that. But that’s an instinct really, and not a rational thought-out thing.

Adoption is extremely important, but it is also the hard mode of becoming a parent. The only reason I even have a biological child is because my wife and I tried one more doctor after being a year or two into the crushing roller coaster of the adoption process, and even having a double adoption fall through.

I think people don't realize just how expensive and difficult adoption is. My ex wife and I looked into it when we were having fertility trouble. Turns out, five rounds of IVF would have been cheaper than adoption. People got used to the idea that adoption is cheap in the 80s and 90s when China, Korea, and a lot of the Eastern European states had an excess of unwanted babies. That is no longer the case and babies are very hard to come by.

The adoption part really strikes a nerve with me, too. "My own," is always how I've heard it and it's so indicative of a purely self-centered reason for wanting children - it's not about the children at all, it's about the parent. But, that's never what you'll hear from a parent when they try to describe how selfless the ineffability of parental love is for their child: "I can't explain it, you just have to be a parent to understand." I don't buy it, as there countless unloved/unwanted children doomed to grow up in toxic or abusive environments, as well as many step-parents and adopted parents who clearly love their children as much as any biological parent.

And that's really the point, you don't add meaning to your life because you have a kid. You add meaning to your life by helping others. Some people do that with their kids while my husband and I choose to do that with friends and family. I'm happy with being child free and I'm happy for those people who find meaning in raising their kids. It's not an either/or situation.

Kids are just a very straightforward way to add purpose, meaning, and fulfillment to your life

I'm bored and can't find meaning in my life. I'm going to procreate and make it somebody else's problem

All the bad things you mentioned are worse with kids.

This is so well said. I was a dumbass until my son was born. Then everything in life was meaningless and my son became my sole purpose in life. My job became meaningless. My friends became meaningless. Everything was focused on being the best father I can be. What was interesting is that when I started getting less of a fuck at work, I started getting promoted and getting paid more. I had more confidence during interviews because I didn't give a fuck about them.

Anyways to each their own, but I want to thank you for replying.

There's also vasagel which will hopefully be available before long.

Look at this guy, with his penis, assuming everyone has a penis as well. /s

Conservatives in the US are working very hard at forcing women to have children, especially when they can't afford them.