Asklemmy

"Would you like to round up your purchase, we promise that we'll give it to somebody who needs it."

Large, well known companies that just advertise that they still exist. Like, yeah, I know McDonaldsBurgerTacoBellWendySonic's exist. I pass them on every street corner. Show me an advertisement for something I don't know exists.

Resetting/moving the products on the store's shelves en masse, not because there's holes from discontinued products but because "people will stop paying attention to the shelves if everything stays the same." I'm old and in a hurry and I was here to give you my fucking money. Don't make it hard for me to give you my fucking money.

Pricing to the 9's.

Filling the shelves with a bunch of things that don't seem to sell all that well, taking up space that could have been used to keep more of the fast moving products on the retail floor, just to have the appearance of diversity on the shelves.

There's this ad I keep seeing that I really despise. It's for teeth-whitening toothpaste. The actress is wearing a white coat then holds up a tissue to her teeth, lamenting that her sparkling white teeth are 'still yellow'

They cut away to teach you how toothpaste works, because surely you've never heard of this newfangled thing, and when they cut back she's no longer wearing her white coat and says how much whiter her teeth are.

It's transparently obvious that the wardrobe and tissue are just to give you something whiter to look at. But like... your teeth aren't supposed to be freakishly white. It's just something that Big Toothpaste wants you to feel bad about the way your body is. Also, using whitening toothpaste when you don't need it can damage your enamel and cause you long term problems.

Most of them

Cold calling. And other proactive forms of sales when they seek you out and actively keep trying to convince you that you need their product.

Bonus points if the sales person is unable to actually explain the product and keeps talking about "we don't sell products we sell solutions"

All of them except one that I call the Bill Hicks Gambit

Everything has deceptive language and other types of manipulation. I used to merchandise and learned a lot. Most ads make me angry because of this. Politics is similar but that just makes me sad.

Anything that involves deception, which unfortunately seems to be most of marketing.

I don't mind when people just try to get their product out there, just let it be known that it exists and does X thing differently or better. I hate when they mean to deceive. Something that is intended to deceive but isn't technically a lie is not really better than a lie, to me.

Has to be rubbishing the competition. Even if I've solicited the engagement, if you have to pull yourself up by putting your competitors down then you'll lose me. Tell me why you are good, not why they are bad.

The job of sales is the overpromise and write checks that their ass won't have to personally cash. Anything they say is to get you to sign on the line.

Fuck em all

Sending my work email a calendar invite as the first communication. Just because you want to sell it doesn't mean I want to buy it. Or even hear about it. If a calendar event is the first thing you send me, I will be the avatar of snark. My calendar is busy enough without you inserting yourself into it without my consent.

Detaching basic features from an existing free product and making people pay a subscription for it.

The only marketing I don't hate is handwritten signs by the gate to a farm with addendums like "manur: $free$"

Yes.

all of them. bill hicks had the only correct take on people who work in marketing

Top 5 marketing tactics EVERYONE hates. You won’t BELIEVE number three.

Asking me to give them profit so that they can donate is so obviously pretentious.

It's a way for them to have their cake and eat it too.

They use the desire of people to buy something they want and think they did a good thing at the same time, while the business will just take that money to donate to a non-profit (helping their public image) while writing off a part of it on their tax records (helping their bottom line).

They're not doing this from the bottom of their heart, it's just a cost of doing business for gaining some PR karma.

Stealing my time for nothing in return. Watching an ad to get content is a transaction. The door to door guy, or the guy who interrupts my shopping with “I’m not selling anything just asking you some questions” is annoying and I’m never going to use their product. The ones that persist after being told “not interested” can jump off a cliff.

The thing is, if I want something I'll go looking for it. At the point where I'm looking for it or something like it, I am happy to consume ads even tangentially related to that thing. If analytics marketing worked this way (showing me relevant ads when I'm shopping for something, even if it's for something I am not actively looking for), things would be better. But ads have worked their way into the cracks of everything and that's my problem with them.

I hate Billboards. I don't like circulars (waste of paper and generally too much trash), I hate junk mail and I think it's predatory. Popups (singing, flashing, scrolling when I scroll to stay on the page, tiny exit buttons, video, etc) are garbage.

when movie trailers for bad movies either only show you the good reviews or stop showing up on TV once the movie is released.

Short of answering any questions about a product I ask, all of them.

If I want or need something, I will come looking. Anything beyond that is the market trying to solicit demand where none need exist.

So much waste could be eliminated if that just... Stopped.

All of them. I dislike every marketing tactic ever invented.

To me it's sending me e-mails I have not explicitly signed up for. I have had once or twice, when I had filled out a form to order something and without pressing submit, they had already registered my e-mail address and signed me up for all kinds of spam, starting with 'weren't you about to order something'.

All of them

Hiding finished/already existing game content behind DLC. Day one patches. Pay 2 Win in General. I just want to play good, finished games :c.