yes daddy
hmmm
Internet as an art
Rule 1: All post titles except for meta posts should be just plain "hmmm" and nothing else, no emotes, no capitalisation, no extending it to "hmmmm" etc.
I will introduce more rules later and when I finish doing that I will make an announcement post about that.
For overall temporary guide check out the rules here: https://www.reddit.com/r/hmmm/wiki/rules/
I won't be moving all of them here but I will keep most of them.
So, a man with long hair doesn’t need to be tied up (neutre the man nor his hair).
A good friend liked to go to these kind of rhetorical legal battles with the school and the dress code. It was hilarious. She used neon green hair for three months due to a weird wording on some rule or another about colored hair. Then they would change it to something more restrictive but she would find the loopholes and challenge them again. She once got us to loan her our watches and wore over 20 wrist watches due to a stupid rule about bracelets. Wore all sorts of ridiculous clothes colors and patterns, and queues, horns and bunny ears. Went as a clown when they tried to regulate makeup. After two years of madness the school board called her to negotiate a truce. They removed the ancillary dress code, uniform was still mandatory but anything beyond the basic four pieces of clothing students would be free as long as it wasn't nudity or disrupted other students. Skirts were made optional, the origin of the whole conflict. In return she was just asked to stop trying to give the poor principal a heart attack.
She still wore colorful stuff and accessories after that. But at least she wasn't in heated arguments during detention everyday anymore. She wanted to abolish uniform altogether but in a way she sort of won.
Your friend sounds like an awesome person to hang out with.
Are zipties or handcuffs sufficient?
Only if your sub is cool with it, but they need to know going in that either option is likely to chafe and dig into the sensitive skin around their wrists, possibly even causing bleeding depending on how much they strain against them. Definitely not recommended for a first time if you don't know what your own responses to stimuli are likely to be.
Much better to use a soft hemp rope, around a quarter inch thick or more, and make sure you're binding with safe knots. You can't just go in with any old naval knot or whatever; there are specific bindings that are safe for use on people; look them up. Always check your bindings to ensure a safe amount of slack (you should be able to easily slide a finger around any part of the wrist or ankle for proper circulation) and always make sure you have a set of EMT clothing shears handy in case something goes wrong. No, kitchen scissors are not good enough; EMT shears have serration, and specially shaped blades, in order to cut through heavy fabric or bindings easily.
Also please don't use duct tape, there's literally no way to have it bind but also have sufficient slack. You will impede circulation. Just a terrible idea.
Or does there need to be a metal bikini and giant slug involved?
Tentacles. There need to be tentacles.
Sounds like Debbie may be getting a call from HR soon...