this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2024
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

- What kind of dog do you have?

- A laboratory.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

That dog looks like they have PTSD and would bite anyone who didn't give them table scraps.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

It's 2 am you open your eyes and he's 5cm from your face looking at you like that.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Reasonable.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Having spent my life around cats I struggle to get used to the round pupils on dogs. I'm used to slit pupils on quadrupeds.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Wait until you find out goats have rectangular pupils !

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Don't most hoofed critters?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Tbf this specific dog looks like he's been abusing hard drugs.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I've thought for a long time dogs only think in punctuation.

"Whose a good boy?"

"????????????"

"You're a good boy!"

"!!!!!!!!!!!"

This dog has interrobangs and semi-colons in his head.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

This dog has interrobangs and semi-colons in his head.

Translation: "Furthermore; it is necessary to the security of the household that you allocate unto me a portion of all baked, cooked, or roasted goods that pass herein. For should I waste for want of sustenance, there would be no watch at the door; no bold guard to prevent the trespass of wicked men into the holdfast of our fair clan. And what could such a trifling price be, but rightfully rendered payment to a hound most virtuous and fair; indeed, such a payment is ennobling, even, to bursar and beneficiary alike!"

Dog Mind: ";;;"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

With those eyes, I can hear him licking his chops just from the photo.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Plot twist: the dog passes the test and becomes a scientist

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Testing? Nah, it’s for tasting.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Except those containing (too much/any) salt, chocolate, onion and a bunch of other things labs are not allowed to test

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Phew! Peanut butter is safe.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah Xylitol is a nasty one

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Xylitol)))) Is it made from Putinal?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Dang, that's a dog's life.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Those go to an affiliated tester next door. However, there is a cheese tax.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I like to take a bite of my kids’ food and tell them I’m checking it for poison.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

When they get in the car after shopping and they have candy, they pay daddy tax before the car moves.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

I do that too. But only if they ask me to open anything for them.