this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2024
153 points (95.8% liked)

A Boring Dystopia

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Apes, stupid together.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago

I wouldn't expect shareholders to be the brightest folks at this point in the timeline.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Does this mean the coffee machine in the office kitchen is not getting fixed?

[–] [email protected] 56 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Shareholders present at the company’s annual meeting Thursday, held at Tesla’s Texas gigafactory, cheered and gave a standing ovation when general counssel Brandon Ehrhart announced the results of the vote. The margin of victory was not immediately clear.

“I just want to start off by saying: Hot damn, I love you guys,” Musk said as he leapt around on the stage Thursday. “I think we’re not just opening a new chapter for Tesla, we’re starting a new book.”

Can't imagine how much a Elon fanboy those shareholders are. "Yay!!! Let's give billions of shares to the craziest billionaire in the world! Surely he won't dump them to pay that xitter fiasco, surely the price won't crash, we're going to raise more value on an already overvalued company"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Come on, it's only overvalued about 600%

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"In case you haven't caught on, I just slipped my dick down your throat, and you thanked me for it." ~ ~~Negan Smith~~ Elon Musk

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

At least Negan had some redeeming qualities.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Would have really liked to know the vote totals

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don't know why I bothered to hope. I'm so tired of being disappointed in humanity.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago

Humans are good enough. It's the shareholders who suck here.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 4 months ago (2 children)

What is it about humans that makes us so gullible and susceptible to parasocial star worship, against clear self-interest?

I suppose it's the P.T. Barnum quote - a timeless trait of humanity, and social media and the Internet has just made it more efficient for fewer narcissists to fool more people much more quickly. But these shareholders just voted to throw away their money and cheered when they won.

I just think of mentally ill persons who are a danger to themselves breaking free of restraints to stab themselves in the eye with a fork, and then celebrating.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

I think of Lenny from Of Mice and Men. Too stupid to know what to do when things go south, so he just hangs on real tight. Next thing you know, your holding penny stocks and Curlys's wife has a snapped neck.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (3 children)

What the fuck they going pay him with? The company never even made that much money. Guess Telsa is closing it doors.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Guess Telsa is closing it doors.

There's a joke about panel gaps to be made here.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I think they’re going to give him newly-issued stock, not cash. However, the newly issued stock will not be backed by new capital (i.e. nobody would have given the company money in exchange for the stock), so what will happen is that existing shares will have their values diluted, i.e. they will be worth less.

In other words, shareholders will pay for Elon’s compensation by devaluing their investments, and not by drawing money out of Tesla’s coffers.

$56B is roughly 10% of Tesla’s market cap of $581B, so shares should be devalued by about that same rate.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

According to Google ai (the same "intelligence" that is suggesting to add glue to pizza) Tesla has 15 billion in profits yearly, so it's "just" three years of profits.

But this number seems off because dividing that number by the number of cars sold in one year it means that they have a 9k pure profit on each car sold. Seems too much?

And if they're drowning in money why they summarily fired all that people? Just because the CEO is a psychopath and finds it fun?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

That's about right. Their profit margin per vehicle in 2023 was nearly $10k USD.

They laid off all those people to maximize profits while they're experiencing a downturn due to reduced demand and increased competition. Workers never share in good fortune, only misfortune.

Tesla's shareholders are insane to give Tesla's greatest liability a huge payout while their company is experiencing a downturn. I can't wait to watch Tesla crash and burn.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

And now they have a negative profit margin on the Y and 3 with all the 0% financing they're doing. Great time to dilute the stock for sure

[–] [email protected] 80 points 4 months ago

Shareholders adding value to society as usual I see.