this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I woulda said Dr Manhattan powers.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

I think you might need to reread watchmen then

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

A blue penis?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

I'd just wish to not be in Hell talking to Satan... I mean, literally anywhere else talking to literally anyone else is by definititon a better situation to be in.

To all contradictory replies, I said NOT be in Hell.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (2 children)

My head canon is that Tony Stark has a superpower: everything he builds works the first time.

If it's really complicated, like an entirely new Iron Man suit, then it might malfunction once in an amusing way. Then he tightens a screw and it's perfect. It never fails outright or bricks itself.

In my experience, this is not how hardware or software development goes. I want this power so much.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

He is an Artificer, plain and simple

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

Agreed. It's comical how he's seemingly able to rapidly build stuff that requires experience in multiple high end fields and then he even surrounds himself with his own tech and is not buried under maintenance hell for it all.

My alternative head canon is that he's actually only good at building AIs and Jarvis and Friday are the ones who actually make all of his crazy ideas work.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don't understand, isn't it what is required for junior positions these days, every manager would tell you that they also required soft skills. His wish won't even land him a job.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

All they had to wish for was to know COBOL. Job guaranteed.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Wish granted, goes on to create yet another "better" programming language.

btw, OP forgot "understanding", which is the harder part.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

Good point. Maybe that's why they clarified "all knowledge in data structures and ml and ai" in the end.

Then again, just because you have all puzzle pieces (and a few extra) it does not mean you can solve it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Would go for all languages, spoken, written, typed, signed, listened too, seen, felt.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I like the scope creep there:

  1. Programming language (singular)
  2. All programming languages and related knowledge
  3. Add in AI, ML and data structures
[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Bro needs to go big. Why not all electronics and electronic systems in general? As it is he could still be "caught with his pants down" by another speculative execution bug.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

DNA is a programming language. The fabric of space time could be a programming language. Keep going!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Why limit yourself like that? Just say "All languages". Depending on how liberally you interpret the word "language", you know know just about everything.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

Fuck programming then, I'll go read ancient Egyptian or some not-yet-deciphered crap. On the other hand, I bet it's not that different from APL

APLSC_matrix-3547335466

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

At that point just go for omniscience.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Too far. I don’t need to know all that.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Oh you don't want to know exactly how many pubes your grandmother shed in her lifetime? You don't care to know what the sewage of tasted like in London on Sunday, the 16th of July 1882? You don't burn with desire to learn what it feels like to get your viscera torn out by a hungry lion?

Weak!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

Man i could just browse weird facts in my brain all day. Hurry Satan my soul is waiting!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

A few million. Nasty, with hints of corn and bean. Painful and, oddly, quite exhilarating. Knowing doesn't equate to experiencing.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

I dunno. You’d know exactly what it looks and smells like too, and what it’d feel like on your tongue. Depends on how vivid your imagination is.

I can’t visualise things, but when people ask me to “visualise an apple” I can feel the waxy exterior, the crispness (or gumminess of an old apple), the slightly floral scent before you bite into it, what it sounds like, etc.

Can’t fucking visualise it to save my life though.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Instantly granted all programming knowledge

"Well what the... God damnit! Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? Fucking JavaScript architects!"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

My gods. I think this just gave me flashbacks to this week.

I was recently battling node's import/require shenanigans trying to figure out how to import a typescript module in my basic program. I feel this so hard.

I walked away utterly hating the language and its ecosystem. Utterly defeated, I gave up.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

Every npm package gets downloaded into your brain, immediately collapses into a black hole