Cumfetti
this post was submitted on 20 May 2024
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A Boring Dystopia
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They don’t call me Ping Pong Balls for nothing.
Huh, I didn't even notice when I got tested
P~~ee~~lastic is stored in the balls.
Is that why they're getting bigger??
Are those that ejaculate multiple times a day safe? Asking for a friend.
I'm surprised how few comments there are making this joke
Answering the real question: "The scientists tested 23 human testes, as well as 47 testes from pet dogs. They found microplastic pollution in every sample." Saved you a click.
Why were there an odd number of testes tested? In general, the come in pairs.
If they steal both, someone would notice. Steal one and replace it with a neuticle, and no one's the wiser.
Honestly, I wasn't watching when I had my vasectomy. I might be a statistic.
They messed up some of the samples and didn't include them in the data
Oh God... Were the samples... the testes? Were they just thrown out like old leftovers?
The next song is called... Shooting microplastics from my cock
Can't even eat balls anymore, smh.
When I die, throw me in the recycle.
But you can’t recycle plastic…
Children of Men...
Oh nards
Luckily my testicles weren't studied, so I must be safe. Right?
If you don't look, ~~you won't see it~~, it's not there. Right?
microplastics are stored in the balls
Along with the pee? Damn my balls are pulling some double duty
That’s why there are two.
Now you can start calling your orgies “the plastic ball pit”
MFW humans aren't even biodegradable any more.
I never really considered a tattoo, but perhaps something like this would be fitting:
A lot of tattoo inks can contain plastics and metals which enter the body through the skin. So it could be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But it's nice to know that long after I'm gone, my balls will be hanging on.
To carry on
They'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone, believe me
Your testicles will carry on