this post was submitted on 19 May 2024
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I needed this. Thank you
I am listening to this right now and holy shit.
It's not completely awful as I had assumed it would be. I mean the man can't act for shit, so I wouldn't have thought he could sing either. Especially in an accent.
No you're wrong, it's awful. The lady on the track is carrying the whole tune while Segal kinda just mumbles barely in key. But it's pretty on point for the Segal brand I suppose.
Calling Jamaican English oder Patois an accent is a tiny bit derogatory, because it is its own language. It has its roots firmly in English, but it's not just "haha talk funny".
Not that Steven Seagull would care. Or should have tried to sing in Jamaican English. Or sing at all. Or do anything besides sit in prison forever.
I think in his case it's a patois. I don't think it's suggesting actual Jamaican English is.
The point being made is that Jamaican Patois is a language, not an accent. It's an English Creole.
Context: In addition to all the other lies he's told about his mythology (CIA asset, martial arts trained, whatever), he's also 120% Jamaican. If you add that up with all his other bogus claims about racial heritage, the man is over 1000% human. So of course he's able to do almost anything and super cool. Plus he shot a dog on that show where he played law enforcement, which is about the coolest thing anyone's done.
He's basically a god.
You forgot the parts where he drove an APC through the wrong guy's house, and also the part about the sex slave that escaped from his house.
Plus he shot a dog on that show where he played law enforcement.
A+ vice-presidential material right there.
Delete this. Everyone who read it: drink to forget. Captain's orders.
Aye aye, Captain! 🫡
Me want da punani see for make me nice,
Me love the way you walk sometimes,
The way you talk is so hot,
Now you know let's have a shot of rum,
Then me can make you come
With me to the ocean
That would be phat
You can be my bow cat
Nice ital breeze
Bring you to your knees
We're jammin'
Without looking up the lyrics, i cannot tell if you're making this up or these are the actual ones.
When the girls start to strut
You could look at their butt
You shouldn't do that
The gyal dress is just as pretty
Not just there to cover her kitty
friends, I went to see this motherfucker perform this album live on tour.
How much did you pay for the privilege?
But…why?
Holy fuck I'm jealous
People say the only regrets in life are things you don't do... Then there's this.
what a life experience
I'm sorry.
thank you. the encore was Wild Thing which you can replicate at home by varnishing a plank of wood and drawing a face on it, then grunting.
This is the funniest thing I have read all year. Still chortling at the thought. Thank you.
Should you then hit yourself in the face with that plank to make it similar to the experience of having to listen to it?
Best acting I’ve seen him do.
As soon as I learned that Crank wasn't cinéma vérité, I couldn't take Jason Statham seriously ever again.
That fucking leopard print banana hammock 😂
You mean you can never not have a boner after seeing Jason because of these videos? Wait... What?
Yeah it's almost like he is... An actor.
And was a dancer. And was a competitive diver. And was a fence~~r~~ (the stolen goods kind).
To your point, he honestly made me appreciate how actors have lives outside of the set.
Jason Statham is always Jason Statham...
Except in Revolver. He was Statham in a hair piece then.
Doesn't mean I won't watch everything with him in it though.
They just call it a fence in that role. Gotta find a fence for these stereos.
The fact that it happened more than one time makes it so much funnier
Makes it a job.
It does, but it also kind of hurts his tough guy image.
The lesson is to not associate actors with the roles they play.
This is amazing. Thank you.
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