Just wondering why the names of the original authors have been censored?
this post was submitted on 09 May 2024
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OP accidentally outs themselves as a loner
I'm a loner, but that doesn't mean I'm eating the whole damn birthday cake!
An oldie but a goldie
No matter how old this post is, overall, it’s such a simple, but utter evisceration of the initial person’s ignorant statement
"let them eat (my) cake"
👉👈
👅🍑
👌💦
Accidental self-own
- Cut the cake into portions equal to the number of attendees. Maybe a couple more if you want to save a few slices. Everyone gets to enjoy cake at the party
- Grab a fork, and eat it alone. At a party. All the attendees just watch as you gorge yourself on far more cake than one person should consume. Take the rest home and freeze it so you can continue to be the only one to enjoy it
Capitalists see nothing wrong with option 2.
Option 2 is 100% somebody's fetish.
I had this intrusive thought and now you have to too!
CUT MY CAKE INTO PORTIONS
EQUAL TO THE NUMBER OF PEEPS
MANY SLICES
SO YUMMY
THIS IS THE BEST PARTY
CUT MY CAKE INTO PIECES! THIS IS MY PLASTIC FORK!
Capitalist version:
CUT MY CAKE IN NO PIECES
THIS IS MY SOLO TORTE
IT'S JUST FOR MY
OWN EATING
DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT MEANS THAT I'M GREEDY
Cut my cake into pieces
I've eaten my solo tort
All for me, no sharing
Oh did you think I'd be sharing?
Do you even care if I die eating?
It would be right, it's always right
To hog the cake to myself
Let the proles eat what they might
All the cake is out of sight
And I'm contemplating a second plate
Cuz I'm eating my cake, Eating my cake
No one else is eating my cake
Eating my cake, eating my cake
No one else even needs a plate
SOLO TORTE
Perfection
Where I live we just cut portions as we go
Of course each attendee in scenario 2 will give you two cookies for participating.
The cake is a lie!
But I don't like cake. Please don't make me eat it all.
That’s the beauty of capitalism, it’s your cake. Do whatever you want with it.
Cake fight
Cake farts
Don't forget to stab people with your fork, if they get too close to your cake.
Pfftt, amateur hour. You're not a real capitalist success story until you've hoarded enough wealth to afford hiring a poor person to do your fork-stabbing for you.
You can also have them go out and stab those who try to make they own cakes and cut you out of the equation.
The post is about the Police.
Nah, Just claim you'll give them enough to one day hope to have as much cake as you, then only let small crumbs fall so the government has to step in and feed them for you.
I prefer option 3: Everyone brings some cake to the party, and everyone gets to enjoy the variety of flavors, because we all pooled resources.
This should be a thing
Or option 4: everyone brings some ingredients, or skills, and we all bake varying cakes which are then enjoyed by all, because it's a cooperating group that doesn't give one asshole all the cake that's baked.
How many hours is that supposed to take?
It usually takes an hour to bake the cake, but since there are 10 of us it only takes 6 minutes.
As little as needed. No reason to force people to sit around acting like they're baking cake.
Cake potluck for a birthday is a dope idea!
Maybe if we say which cake we will bring....otherwise you end up with multiple of the same type, or maybe the exact one if not home made.... Which sucks.
I used to do potluck pie parties, because people are happy to go savory with pie. Chicken pot pie, tamale pie, beef and onion, etc. It’s all about tasty with a crust.
Awesome. We had wedding pies instead of cake. Who doesn't want 10 kinds of pie to choose from?!
You just blew my mind...great idea!!! First though, it's time to get friends...
The sheer fucking amount of cake that would be leftover at the end would make me sick.
I mean, I'd eat it all, so therefore, I'd get sick.
But most people usually bring too much to a potluck, and with cake it would likely be even more. So much leftover cake.
I've been to a few low budget weddings that did this. It was awesome. No $10K dinner bill for the newly weds, just a shit ton of homemade desserts.
A panluck? God, I would be so in. And you could really get experimental with the cake if you knew it wasn't the only one there.