this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2024
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A 38-year-old man repeatedly tries to force his wife to have sex in the middle of the night but has no memory of his actions when he wakes up.

A married woman in her mid-20s often tears off her clothing and masturbates but remembers nothing when her partner rouses her.

For a dozen years, a 31-year-old man masturbates while asleep, at times injuring his groin. Embarrassed due to his unconscious behavior, he avoids relationships for eight years.

These are all clinically documented cases of sleep sex, or sexsomnia, part of a family of sleep disorders called parasomnias that include sleepwalking, sleep talking, sleep eating and sleep terrors.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Wow, that's somehow the opposite of my experience. I need dreams to fully relax and enjoy a good night's sleep. Even though I regularly have "nightmares" to the point of sweating right through my pj's AND my covers, after I wake up it feels only as if I watched an actual decent horror movie. Dreamless nights always result in me feeling only half-rested.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I dated a woman for a year while she was in the middle of a legal battle. Her husband (they were separated pending divorce) was in jail awaiting trial for having sexually molested her daughter for three years at night, from ages 11 to 14. His defense was sexsomnia. He ended up getting a 40-year sentence without parole. He's incarcerated in a state prison south of Houston until May 2058.

Honestly...I don't know what to think because I wasn't there. If he really truly does have a sleepwalking form of sexsomnia and never would have hurt his stepdaughter otherwise, then I feel really bad for him.

On the other hand...c'mon...three years? The woman I dated did say that he tried to sex her up in the middle of the night every now and then, and that she'd just push him off and tell him no it's sleepytime right now. I dunno.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

I have this as well, everything from sex, four play, talking, and teasing. The gf can notice a difference, she says the sleepy guy is more slow and sensual 😅

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I experienced this a bit for a year or two after my wife and I had a kid. I don't know if it was the reduced frequency of sex or what. I'd usually come to and realize I'm feeling my wife's tits and grinding against her. She's usually engaged as well at this point, but I'm always embarrassed and ashamed by the time I realize what's going on. I think we only carried out the rest of it once or twice, but usually I snap out of it when things start heating up. Feels rapey and I don't like it, even if she thinks it's funny. Fortunately it hasn't happened in ages.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

"Im not a terrorist, im just a sleep-terror"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

My partner has it to.

Sometimes it is a fast. Finger in there. I call it the 'check if this is still female'. It waked me up but nothing more. Frustrates me more than you can immagine.

There is the longer time having his hand over my tits. Iff he gets to playing with the nippels I start joining. Manuelly getting him hard and during his sleep he still doos the rest.

Rarely we have the 'wet noodle is lonely'. Tries to hump but... Nothing more. Also waked me up ;(.

My favorite ( the haha type ) is when he starts talking. 'come fucking' 'frick frick frick' 'now now yes now' 'legs open... fock'. Often it is when he is a bit wilder. Rolling up me and starting the penetration. He speeks often in his sleep btw. Not only for sexxy times.

My favorite ( the oh yes type ) When it comes to sex and I have fun.

The next morning I always ask 'When during fucking you woke up?' Sometimes he had the ' i did it again?' Sometimes it is ' somewhere during being inside you. I did xxx. What happened befor ?'

He always (when he can t remember ) thinks it is sad. He misses a bit off the sexy and nice times between us like that.

But tbh... I m the one with the bigger sexdrive. An extra turn when it did not happen when going to bed is for me always welcome.

My partner is 40 and I am 41. We are 13 years together. He has SSRI medication / ADHD stuff and some other medication. Sometimes beta-blockers and atm he takes something that has as a side effect to sleep better. He has often stress at work.
We were looking if the sexsomnia was stress-related but even when it happend than a bit more. It is not only during those times. We have no ID about a trigger.

Now it is yust a part off our relation. Could be months without the sleep-fucking and than in one week 3 times.

We have a good relation. When I found out he has it... We talked. He was upset after hearing what he did and said.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (2 children)

You sound like a great couple!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

As the other half of said couple, thanks! I can corroborate ;) The secret (imho) is communication. I try to model my way of communication/love language after my grandparents, who are approaching their 90's and are very much still in love.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

O ;) You want to share a bit more about that waking up during - feeling.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Tkx. We do think so.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago

i dunno that sounds cool

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I was raped by someone who them rolled over after and asked if we had sex.. maybe they weren't lying? I didn't push them off because I was also asleep, then in shock. After that I'm told I punch and kick pretty violently in my sleep.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago

I’m very sorry that happened to you.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (1 children)

So I definitely have this, although it's seems to have waned as I've gotten older. We didn't even know it was a thing, and my wife and I referred to it as "sleep molesting" until I came across it on the Internet one day.

Luckily, it's only happened when sharing a bed with my wife/gf. Plenty of times her, knowing it happens, just wakes me up to laugh (or be angry i woke her) and tell me to stop. Always scared when I share a bed with someone, even tho it has never happened.

I remember one time going on a ski trip with one my my best friends. We booked one room, but it said it had two beds.

Turns out it didnt, and it was going to be a week. I had to warn him.

His response? "Oh so you suffer what every guy suffers from?"

"Wait, it happens to you too?"

"Yeah i'll often have a dream where im having sex for some weird reason, like keeping a polar bear out of my igloo, and I'll wake up having sex with my gf."

" Yeah, that's not normal at all."

I can laugh about it now, but at the time I was like "wtf is going to happen? Are we going to have gay sex in our sleep?" Although he is a good looking guy, so if it was anyone it would best if it were him. Lol

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

How do you know you guys didn't have sex but neither remembered it lmao

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Lol. Now that you mention it, I did have the taste of dick in my mouth one morning.

But seriously, I don't know if any time I haven't woken up once we really have gotten into it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Lul gottem. But really, there's a non zero chance it happened and they don't even know, sorta crazy to think about.

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