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So a few weeks back it's been officially confirmed I'm being made redundant.

I had a job interview last Friday - late stage. I'm hoping they come back with some positive news. The interview went okay. I think I did well with the Java stuff, but when I was asked about Javascript Event Loops, I was completely befuzzled.

Back at work, and we all have to act like we give a shit. Not too great, I wish I was done with the company overall.

Luckily I have another job interview next week - something to look forward too!

Overall, a pretty resounding "meh".

As always - extreme. 5/7 days I feel like a god(dess?) and other 2 like something slimy at the bottom of the barrel. Today is one of the worse so I need to watch myself to not say something stupid and not be a complete troll menace but if I survive then in 2 days I come back again with boundless love for the world yay.

Hard to get used to this rollercoaster sometimes I just need to not use any social media in those 2 days but always fail haha

Also bought whole apple lineup watch, phone, laptop, ipad, airpods this week suddenly because now I am an apple fangirl.

But it made sense right, I wanted to use google comfy life easier making features but didn’t want to give up my privacy or install some graphene os madness that would make life just harder

Happy cake day @[email protected] !

Got another date with a nice and super cute girl who live about 30 mins away, gonna meet up on Saturday. Still talking to the asexual girl but we had to reschedule our date this weekend as she was busy volunteering for scouts so I I might end up with two dates on one weekend which is a stressful though.

Thanks to all of you for posting this week. You're wonderful for sharing and I'm very thankful.

No joke, I actually felt I became more productive this week. I was able to do my language studies daily now (used to STRUGGLE so much in the past few years) and I'm starting to implement a savings plan I've been planning for a while.

The only shitty thing was that my body clock didn't fully reset. I work graveyard and I barely get 4hrs of sleep per day this week. I'll be drowning in coffee later to survive. Wish me luck.

Finally feel like am on the mend from a respiratory infection + injury to torso.

Which is great but now very behind on a lot of basic stuff in my life & feel it'll be a while before my stamina is back up, so the trick will be tackling things without getting either worn out or despondent.

Some heavy mental stuff to process too, which reemerged prior to getting sick, but feeling somewhat hopeful, in that I suspect the period of dormancy was a total block for a couple of decades.

Blah blah blah week :(

I'm on some new meds and things are looking up. I'm happy.

It's been a busy week so far. Trying to tidy my flat before an inspection next week as well as get some reporting done before a deadline tomorrow (it won't be done in time but their expectations aren't particularly reasonable so doing what I can). Got to do a Hackathon today based around a potential new system which was exciting! It's so much better than what we have at the moment.

Going to Amsterdam on Friday for the weekend, really looking forward to it

Last night attended my first church council meeting. It was a rowdy crowd. It's going to be an exciting year.

I am trying to apply to some IT roles. No great luck so far since my applications have either been ignored or denied, but I'm not giving up.

Hopeful, I did well at piano lessons, I am meeting my new neurologist tomorrow (scared, but I will make it), I think I am sleeping better. Things might be looking up after tomorrow I might get some answers or some relief soon! So my week is hopeful!

About to board a plane so I can arrive at a boat for the first cruise I've ever been on. It's called groove cruise and it's 24/7 DJs and music/dancing. Hard to separate anxiety from excitement. It'll be fun but I probably won't sleep much!

Unfortunately I have tested positive for breast cancer. Stage 3 IDC. I'm scared of what comes next, I'm only 36 and I have a 5 year old son.

Unfortunately I'm considering to put an end to a new friendship. It's like every time I'm around her I trigger her and it becomes a drama. I've already tried to adjust again and again but I have to face that I'm just a hedgehog to her and we're not compatible.

The thing is I love using sarcasm and making slight jabs at people, it's like second nature to me. Honestly it's really not that extreme and I've asked all my friends and they say they enioy it. But to her these are real personal attacks and enough cause to ruin our time together.

It sucks cuz we had some really good laughs together. But also I'm done with stepping on mines, even when I am careful.

Pretty fun! I'm learning how to use Blender at the moment, with the help of a certain donut tutorial.

Pretty good start to my week, started talking to a girl on bumble on Saturday that is way outta my league that matched with me first, we're gonna meet up on Sunday and walk my dog and chat.

She is so fucking adorable though it's unbeliveable, she's asexual however which may be an issue if we go into any actual relationship as sex is reasonably important to me (I think) but it depends on exactly what type of asexual person she is and her personal feelings/desires on it, I'm wondering when the best time to ask her that would be...

So, basically, 🐣.

So far, so good. Sang with a hundred people over the weekend and haven't gotten sick (yet). Small victories.