Asklemmy

When they started staying after school for functions like choir or sports and I wanted them to have a way to tell me they were done. It was for their safety but also for my own selfish reasons. Win win.

It’s shown in school that kids who get phones and tablets before 5 have a hard time using computers with a keyboard and mouse interface.

Having a dumb phone is a current consideration. We have a smart phone on a separate carrier that we loan to a kid on an as needed basis like sleep overs so they can contact us in an emergency.

I’ve told the kids I’ll buy them a smart phone when they can afford the monthly service. It’s not that I can’t, it’s that they will need to learn how to manage money, and having to pay for my pager in the 90s was a good start for me. Not getting it sooner means it won’t feel like a punishment when they start.

Chaperoned a group of 13-14 yo 8th graders to a school-organized out-of-state civics trip. Only one kid out of ten didn't have a smartphone. 🤷🏻‍♂️

We got ours a flip-phone around 11 to coordinate after-school pickup, then a smartphone at 13, mainly because of involvement in cross-country and wanting to know where the kid was. Social apps or gaming with strangers will be disabled until 16.

3 kids. 13, 11 and 11 now. 10 years old was what my ex and I did with data plans coming a year after that.

Phone is like any other tool. It is my job as a parent to teach my children the proper way to use it.

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I've got twin girls. We held off on smartphones until this past summer when they turned 13.

One couldn't wait to have a smart phone and now handles her own entire social life through it and is happier than ever now that she can communicate with her friends non stop.

The other simply did not want a phone. We asked a dozen times and she said she wasn't interested in one and didn't think she would use it. Since she's with her twin 75% of the time anyway we decided not to push.

15, before that it was a dumbphone for emergencies. Had a tablet too, but use was restricted and the device was locked down.

My son has had access to an iPhone 6s and iPad 2 since he was 1 or so (7 now). His devices have always been moderated to prevent him from seeing inappropriate content whether by accident or on purpose, and as he gets older I ease up on the restrictions. We have had little to no issue with him being attached to the devices, and my opinion is because he had mostly free reign over his usage barring bedtime. Even to this day he prefers to be outside playing.

I'm sure we're all familiar with getting something we all wanted later in life than most people. We get super attached. I did get my son an Xbox one rather late (he had wanted one for at least a year before he got one), and he is attached to that. Because he spent a good amount of time dreaming and fantasizing about it.

My son is also high functioning autistic, (as am I), if that means anything. But this is my parenting style. Allow freedom within reasonable limits to promote individuality, unlike my parents. He sometimes watches the dumbest stuff on YouTube, but we all did and do. It's not up to me to mold his sense of humor, I just make sure it's appropriate for his age. Regardless if I think it's dumb or not. I'm not 7 anymore.

We started at 3y/o. With that said we did so in a controlled way. So the original plan was a tablet but for a fraction of the price we got a very basic smartphone with no service meaning just at home with internet. We started with a max of 20m once a week to make it kind of special but nothing something to become crazy about. Over the years we have given more time for things like chores with a max of 2h a week typically stretched out over the week and some times we would just have a lazy day with it so all 2h in one go. We knew it was tech that she was going to need skills with so we don't count things like learning math or enligh against the hours allowed. We began practicing how to text and make calls with our phones and routinely make blocked calls when she's using one of our phones to see what she does and to encourage open communication with us. For us this method has worked amazingly but I know this is not the norm for most.

Unrelated to the question but can we please drop the Reddit habit of adding “of Lemmy” to the question? You’re asking Lemmy, no need to add it to every question.

No ill will to OP!

My kids are still too young (not even 5 yet) but we’ve decided it’ll be largely up to their peers. They won’t be first, but we aren’t setting up an arbitrary age. We have been working on their relationship with screens and we just have to hope we do a good enough job. Once they have them we’ll undoubtedly limit the hours per day/week and I’ll put some restrictions on what they can do with them, but they’re always used to “daddy tv” (my server) so I’m less worried about the specifics and more focused on keeping the relationship healthy and transparent with us.

Edit: that second phone concept someone talked about here is excellent. I might borrow that.

My kids are grown now so my comment probably isn't all that relevant anymore, but I don't think there should be a set age to give your kid a smart phone. Different kids mature and learn at different ages, even ones from the same household.

For my kids, I got them their first phones in their early teens but those phones were somewhat restricted so that we could still communicate easily but we knew they couldn't get into too much trouble with them. As time progressed the restrictions slowly lifted as we knew we could trust them more to not get into trouble with them.

I've always believed it's not a parents duty to protect their child from the world as much as it is to prepare them for it. Of course kids are going to make stupid decisions if you let them go too far (we all have) so I think it's more about slowly easing them into things and helping them make the right decisions the best we can.

My oldest got a smart watch which could make calls only to preset numbers that we added (mom, dad, grandma, aunt, and one neighbor who had a son the same age) at 9. That's when he started getting dropped off at friends' houses without a parent sticking around (mind you - this was just coming off COVID lockdowns, so we may have done it sooner if there was a need to). I wanted him to always be able to reach us in any situation. He's a really responsible kid, so he got a full smartphone the summer after 5th grade (11) when he went on the class trip to Washington DC. Currently in middle school with a smartphone and no issues yet, plus it gives us something valuable to him to take away if we feel he's letting grades slip, etc.

My second does not seem to share the same level of responsibility, so he did not get his smart watch until 10. He may not get a smartphone anytime soon. It depends on the kid.

My youngest is 8. Time will tell about how responsible he is, but Lord - this is the child that WILL need to call us. Always getting into something 🤦🏻‍♀️.