No Stupid Questions

Young men are not some new phenomenon. Their desire, in a word, is agency.

As the world has grown more interconnected, the world has become more visible. This has created a crippling awareness of their place in the grand scheme. Nietzsche's void has opened beneath them and, in the ignorance expected of youth, they grasp at what is presented to them. Selling hope to the desperate, even false hope, is lucrative, so there is no shortage of hucksters and charlatans offering it to them.

The ultimate problem is that there is no pleasant truth. When faced with the existential horror of being, the truth doesn't help. You cannot focus on learning to be a better version of yourself when facing raw terror. A comforting lie will get you to tomorrow. Truth will send you to the long, dark night.

So, when offered a pretense of agency, in almost any form, they take it. Some pretend that the problem is simply women. Some say it's other 'races.' Some say it's this or that ideology, whether economic, social, sexual, psychological, or anything else. They all just want to feel like they can make a difference, just like everyone else.

Punching nazis can be nice and masculine if you like.

Reclaim patriotism. Republicans love to wrap themselves in the flag, progressives need to do the same thing. It's just a piece of the whole, but seeing pics of the LA protests with Mexican flags flying - that doesn't help bring American voters to a cause.

Idk how do you "sell" being a decent fucking person?

I KNOW! Let’s make June Men’s Mental Health month instead of… wait was it again?

Simple. What do young men care about? Getting laid and getting paid. Promise them that, and you'll get their votes.

You'll need to use coded language, of course. But using coded language is politicians' whole job.

A little out of the blue but I watched an episode of a German cooking show today where strangers are coupled in groups of five for a week and every day one of them has to cook for the rest of them. They then vote who was the best host.

This week was ALL 30-38 year-old straight Dads. Nobody talked about football.

Nobody chestbumped anyone. Nobody was mansplaning anything. Instead, they were all swooning over each others' cooking skills, making each other cry over how much they love their kids and hugging each other for feeling insecure about their cooking. In other words it was the most realistic and "manly" portrayal of the male reality that I have seen in the media ever.

It's easy to blame the media and the "culture war" for male alienation but I strongly believe that our perception of ourselves is largely influenced by our peer group's portrayal in society. In other words: if I feel antagonized, I tend to overreact. If I am being told by Hollywood or social media to "stop being a mansplaning patriarch" I will be imprinted with the very idea to identify as such.

So long story short: non-toxic masculinity needs more representation AND it needs to come from a place of positivity, not judgement or condescension.

You need to make it fun and engaging for them. That is what the far right is doining. You and I might find it reprehensible, but they het som much traction bu having fun and giving young men a purpose and the feeling that they are doing something to netter themselves and their commuity.

How you go about that I dont know. In my local area we are focusing on having fun partiets and going out together as a group instead of just being political nerds in our own little grottos. Som far it seems to be working.

Tl;dr: Have fun visibly and invite them to join you. It takes forever, but at least you have fun while doing it.