Sometimes it really is much easier though.

work related: no. personal: no.

I begin every business-related phonecall with "I'll want this in writing", and end it with "please send me an email with a summary of what we've talked about".

Guess what, the amount of phonecalls and complaints has halved, because I have proof in writing.

Me, sending a ticket to another team: "Man, I hope we can get this solved in the ticketing system"

Me, getting a ticket from another team: instantly calls them

I disagree. It really is just way simpler and also in most cases it solves whatever problem you have much faster.

"No."

Crisis averted, can get back to fixing things now. The only way you're getting me on the phone is if there's some audio component to the problem (alarm buzzers or tones they aren't able to identify) that isn't easy to explain in text. Other than that, there are usually just a handful of common issues and you can tell which path we're going down after a sentence or two of their description.

At work this request means “I’m going to ramble for 45 minutes because I don’t understand it enough to form a question”.

Y'all don't talk?

I used to be like this until I got a job that required constant phone calls. Now if I have to explain something using more than three sentences I'd much rather just talk.

Easier if you send it to me in writing so I can properly digest it instead of having it immediately spill out of my ears.

Some of my friends insist on calling. Apparently they're used to doing VIDEO calls. Like guys, please, have some mercy.