this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
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I'd choose 4,5 & 9 (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
(page 4) 17 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

2-5-9 are the only ones that make sense. Unless you're like, currently obese.

Stop shopping? How will that benefit you, does that mean you're locked out of getting new stuff forever? I don't care if I'm 5cm taller, 6 seems like some kind of fucked up curse because it could limit your emotional spectrum.

Fame can kind of suck, and I don't have any ex lovers...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

With 5, 7 and 9 I could start a cult.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Only 9, the rest are useless/bad for me. 1 and 2 are nearly the same, and not a thing i have a problem with. 3 idk what the benifit of it should be. 4 i am tall enough. 5 would be nice sometimes, but at other times it would only cause you to break things. 6 it would be bad to not be able to cry in bad situations, as these are also part of life. 7 i don't need publicity 8 i don't have an ex 9 you can do a lot with money in this world

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I need a buzzfeed quiz to determine this

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Revenge of the MonkeyPaw:

1 you are allergic to eating fat and can no longer eat any fat whatsoever.

2 your body has lost its ability to process nutrients, making you starve to death.

3 you’re banned from every store on earth.

4 only your neck gets 5cm longer.

5 but only in your dreams.

6 you can not feel anything but happiness - no pain, anger, sadness, nothing but joy.

7 and you’re awaiting your trial as you’re a KKK NeoNazi kult leader.

8 you get Alzheimer’s disease.

9 but you cannot access it because the government froze your account due to being investigated in a money laundering scheme.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

6 has unintended consequences. Always happy? At a funeral for a loved one? No thanks, I want to feel their passing properly.

I’d be fine with just 2. Possibly not good for the heart, pancreas, or liver though.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ah, the simple bare necessities!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Yep. No need for anything else really.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

The only one I could use would be 5.

If I had to pick 4, 5, 9 and donate the money.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (6 children)

1 & 2 are the same pill, unless 2 also stops you from putting on muscle mass which would be a real negative. In the same vein, "no more fat" taken too literally will just kill you, as humans need at least 4-5% body fat to live.

If you read them kindly "dont gain weight from eating" means you will burn fat just day to day, eventually hitting equilibrium. "No more fat" means you won't gain fat, so you can just eat excessively and youre at equilibrium. Neither affects you at a calorie deficit, and both do the same thing at a calorie surplus.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

I prefer being the monkey paw in these scenarios. Way more fun and you can be creative.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

5,6,9 easy.

Some are void if you are always happy.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I think 5 and 9.

i don't really want the rest.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

6, 8, 9 easy call

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