this post was submitted on 21 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 25 comments
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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

Why make it so short

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

I seriously wish there was something better to avoid leftovers. Brushes and whatever this shit is do not seem very sanitary to me, and for sure it's annoying you have to use them at all. Can't they do some durable coating and direct the water to hit shit with higher pressure? I feel like there is next to zero innovation in the toilet industry

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

Poop knife was a meme about something else, but to answer you, this is how you can do it.

  1. Flush.
  2. Get a strip of toilet paper.
  3. Lay it such that it is over the poo on the edge and also in the water.
  4. Because you recently flushed and the end is in water, the entire strip of toilet paper should now be wet and clinging to the edge.
  5. Flush again. The toilet paper gets sucked and/or pushed down and should get the poo with it.
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

I believe the Japanese are eons ahead of everyone else in toilet technology.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago

I hope they are atleast single use!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Americans will do literally anything to avoid eating more fiber

[–] [email protected] 9 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

fiber is what makes the poop knife neccecary

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago

Idk. In my experience fiber makes poops that are solid, but more easily broken up, while eating cheeseburgers exclusively makes dense greasy shits that stick together

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Are you one of those "carnivore diet" guys, who call fibers "carbs"?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

Fibers are the stuff that makes your poop hard and rock like. Sort of the inverse of diarhrea

[–] [email protected] 17 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

All from a reddit comment like 5 years ago.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Yeah, I’m waiting to see Lemmy develop it’s own museum of weirdness.

I remember the Reddit poop knife, i’d rather not see it here.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

Around the time of the first Reddit exodus there was the person who said they needed to not poo for three days and was wondering what to do about it. Then there were bean memes but that's not really unique to Lemmy. Recently there was the one where everyone made German jokes because Americans can't read them when we come online.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

We already have the cylinder guy, so that's a start

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

Ah, turns out that was actually on Reddit, I just read about it on here 😅

I was talking about this Reddit post, where someone got a "cylinder" stuck in a tube and needed help removing it

[–] [email protected] 11 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

5? I have some news for you....

[–] [email protected] 4 points 12 hours ago

Ahp ahp ahp ahp, we don't do that in this house, honey. We are devout believers and it is by our faith that we believe it was 5 short years ago, amen. :)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 16 hours ago

They make toilets with an automatic poop knife.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 17 hours ago

Have you tried adequate plumbing?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Imagine giving these to someone as a present

[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago

Invite them over. Make a cake. Wait to frost the cake until they're there. Frost Cake with a new clean poop knife. Eat cake. Gift poop knife while licking frosting off the clean knife. Wait for realizations.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 12 hours ago

Thank you for correcting this Image

[–] [email protected] 10 points 21 hours ago

Hmm it feels like there should be a red body down there...