this post was submitted on 13 May 2025
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It happens to us all! What's a time it happened to you?

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I was doing physical therapy for back pain, and the therapist noted that I had pelvic floor disfunction. I needed to get approval from an obgyn for them to do an internal exam. I was new in town, so this was my first visit to the obgyn.

I'm there in a paper gown, sitting on the edge of one of those stupid beds, while doctor goes on an endless lecture about how the uterus works, most of which I already know, none of which is relevant to my visit. I interrupted: "I'm going to stop you there. Are we going to be doing an exam, or can we finish this conversation elsewhere, because my back hurts."

He looks surprised. "Oh. Maybe you do have back pain."

Thankfully, my most recent visit with him went well, and his explanations were relevant and welcome.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

I had a younger male coworker a few years back who explained to me what a progress bar in a computer program is.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I have a trainee in my team, he's reasonably good at his job, but he has a habit of explaining things to me that I explained to him in the last month.

Still, better than the guy who I had to show even basic tasks 3 times. Who when he didn't do it right, and didn't ask for help, blamed me ... despite his signature being on the records.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh ffs. Blame shifting is a classic abusive personality characteristic, and at best it shows he's a dick.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Indeed, he filed complaints for abusive behaviour against me, my boss (also a woman) and the only POC on the team, got the union to support him, and was then signed off sick for stress for 6 months ... he was fired in the end, and the union reps (all dudes) apologised for just taking him at his word.

TBH I'm just glad he's gone, morale has shot through the roof and we're crushing it now :-)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Abusive complaint about the female and non white people only? What a shocking surprise! Not. Being seen as the victim is one of misogynists favourite things to do. So glad he's gone and well done for getting through that

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Thank you for letting me vent :-)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Np anytime 😊

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

Not my own story, but a friend of mine (who is also trans) got lectured by a guy 30yrs older than her about how hrt is bad for you after they'd fucked. That was a wild story to hear.

I kinda don't tend to hang out with cis men enough to experience mansplaining myself; though I have a vague memory that someone who was clearly clueless about how VRC works tried to correct me on someone avatar related and refused to accept they were wrong.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Yesterday, at my job as a reporter. Some men, even though I tell them how the interview/quoting process works, will just assume I'm stupid for asking "groundwork" questions without realizing I'm doing that to get quotes, which I need in his words, not mine.

I should also say my job is borderline public relations work, so I wasn't asking probing, hardball gotcha questions either. The articles are essentially free advertising for companies.

Sometimes, they'll get that I understand what I'm asking about as the interview progresses, but this man continued to give me condescending, non-sentence answers while repeatedly questioning my knowledge on the subject. Which will just make it harder to grab good quotes when I write the article, because they all come with spice. I never have these problems when I interview women.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Oh good grief. There was no need to be condescending, if he thought you were being ridiculous he could have just asked you why you were asking these questions. But instead he chose to rub your face in his superiority and try to embarrass you in the process. Did he realise he faceplanted?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I was a bit into my transition when a colleague started explaining the basics of VHDL to me after I had pointed out to him that the bug in his design had all the hallmarks of an off-by-one. (Thanks, buddy, I have a postgraduate degree in this). I was so baffled because that sort of stuff had never happened to me before.

Then he was going over the code and explaining how there is no off-by-one when I pointed out that his integer type was indeed one bit smaller than it needed to be.

He of course tried to take credit for fixing that bug, but guess which girl was the one with merge permissions in gitlab.

I’ve also had several men try to explain to me how the vending machine in the office works, even as I was using it. That one gives me a laugh every time.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

How nice of them to affirm your gender like that 😂 they were just being supportive!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago

I'm often told how to can by guys who watched their grandmothers can and who have no idea what the Ball Blue Book even is. Like, just cause your memaw had horrific canning practices and survived doesn't make it safe. Or smart. Or anything other than lucky.

Also yes. I do know what purling is, guy watching me knit. Who said it so condescendingly I thought I was going insane until another guy actually asked him wtf and he just...left???

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

“Deleted” my comment because I was told this community is women and Trans exclusive.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Thanks for deleting Sit it's really kind of you

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Hey sit thanks so much for your comment! We are a trans+ inclusive women's community so please don't comment again 😊

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

A man who knew my specialist area was domestic abuse started Informing Me about how more men are abused by women than vice versa and they just didn't report because they were ashamed. Unsurprisingly BTW, the man telling me this was a domestic abuse perp. I politely poured water on his theory using evidence and he glowered.

Around 18 years ago a man patronisingly informed me about what Wikipedia was. It was well known by that time! But obviously, being a mere woman, I wouldn't know. He was a bit weird as well, quite creepy with a few women