This feels like the worst week or two I'm ever going to have. I broke up with someone I love so much, after the worst date I've ever had, every decision feels like a mistake and I don't feel in control; I feel insane, like I'm waking up forced to live with decisions someone else made.
I'm pretty sure I've burnt that bridge completely, but the worst pain is knowing I could unblock him and ask to try again. I just keep telling myself there's no point to a fourth try, right after he begged for another chance and refused to do anything more substantial than vaguely promising to not be an ass. Broken promises, weeks of cold loneliness, and now this.
I know it'll get easier, but it's hard to find the will to keep going when something good happened for once, and then collapsed over something so stupid.
Anyway I'm going back on the radio in a couple of days to talk about trans people having bad mental health lol