this post was submitted on 03 May 2025
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

The secret is to clean a big thing by dirtying a little thing.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I think context is key here. Your floor is dirty when you poop on it, but is your colon dirty when it has poop in it?

Your plate is dirty when it has left over food on it, but is it dorty while you are eating from it?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ignoring context is often the key to humor.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Jokes quite often rely on imperfect superficial information, precisely because thinking too much about the subject matter contradicts whatever is being said in the joke. It's a form of artistic license.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Thank you, I was being a troll but I appreciate the explanation

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

It's the same for vermin and pest plants. You decide what's part of it, depending on if it's useful for you or not.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What an awful thing to read with a diarrhea.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Be thankful it's just one diarrhea.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Your diarrhea can read? Aww

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Two pieces of shit go down the road, puting the masks, to enter and rob the bank.
A diarrhea asks if it can come too.
One of the pieces of shit says:
"This is for tough ones."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

but then when the universe dies and someone comes to clean it off, all that mess will just be smeared all over something else

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You mean when the vacuum cleaner comes?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

the cosmic vacuum cleaner

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

'She's switched from Suck to Blow!'

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

In the game Warframe you have a schizophrenic ship AI who has lots of funny voice lines, he sometimes says this:

"Ordis went mad for 3 milliseconds when he realized that each time he cleans something he makes something else dirty... agh! There I go again."

Here's the audio:

https://mega.nz/file/GJoHgaCZ#9HWD48-h-HuVWdxEsX6WSJ_P9jNwZ0FMp4OMPtoGLO4

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

But then here in like 10^10^10^56 years*, a new big bang will probably happen and the cycle starts anew

*It doesn't actually matter what units you use, milliseconds and stellar lifespans are the same at this scale

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This has always been one of my favorite short stories. For those who might not know the reference: https://users.ece.cmu.edu/~gamvrosi/thelastq.html

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

While funny, its not actually that deep. Either the last cleaning item gets thrown away, or put in a machine to be cleaned. Thats the end of it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

And the water goes into the sewage and to a water treatment plant. But where do they put the dirt from the plant?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

The cleaning ended for me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

They have bacteria digest as much as possible and burn the leftovers.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Digestion probably forms CO2 or Methane, burning definitely does form CO2.

So the final rag is our air.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Right, but then the machine gets dirty or the water it uses gets dirty, or the rubbish bin you threw it into gets dirty. Where does it end? Kinda fucked up ngl

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

It ends then. Bins and machines get cleaned very infrequently.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Dirt cant be dirty. Just throw the water into dirt

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Dirty is dirt's natural state.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That just makes the water even dirtier though!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

But there was already dirt so it wouldnt become dirtier

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I will confer with Dirtfucias and Dirtptalomy The Elder and consider their positions on the matter.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You had dirt, it is now dirty dirt.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

As stated earlier, dirty dirt isnt real

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

It ends in compost (or it should).

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ah, life: An unceasing battle against thermodynamics that can end only in inevitable failure. In the end, even the vaguest echoes of the causal memories of us will be wiped clean when the rightful order is fully restored, universal bigotry wins, and everything is - finally - completely homogeneous.

And boring.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

universal bigotry wins

Have you considered working in physics?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Not beyond the level of a profoundly fascinated hobbyist. I know my limits :)

Professionally, I'll stick to my closely parallel lane in computing (no Black Holes involved - the I/O is notoriously difficult to manage, more's the pity).

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Me trying to explain to my therapist why everything is going to shit.

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