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Since according to Bill Ackman the presence of a place you can buy eggs without a 100% markup is going to plunge NYC instantly into a Mad Max / Escape from New York style hellscape, what gangs are we all joining?
Personally I'm thinking the one of slightly sexy cultists who worship bodega cats.
How about you comrades?
I'm gonna join whatever crew doesn't instantly kick me out for doing the beer-bottles-on-fingers bit from the Warriors
In Zohran's post-apocolyptic utopia we will all come out to play.
Sweet I think I got enough powdered Gatorade mix to share. it's gonna be hot out there
Yea my guy you are right. Scalpers, thefts, food shortage, all of these are problems solved by capitalism
With no street performance permitting the Hi Hats could run the city!
Funny. Everyone wants to be all "people will blame capitalism when bad things happen" but then can't understand that the problems they're worried about would literally only happen because of capitalism. Ugh, liberals.
Yeah, but once Zohran's New York falls they'll all be hiding in a fortified version of the New York Public library, using the books for heat instead of knowledge, and surviving on pigeon meat from the rooftops. Them broadcasting printed out Reddit posts via the emergency alarm system will be annoying but they won't be much threat anymore.
using the books for heat instead of knowledge
Yep, that tracks for your average liberals.
Bunch of terrified liberals hiding in a fortified public library, burning the books for heat, eating the pigeons, and blasting out annoying nonsense over emergency broadcasting, claiming it's Red Dawn out there, while sane people are enjoying a socdem doing a few decent things... that'd make a good story. And sounds about right for post Red Scare Americans.
I want to be one of those generic goons from Double Dragon, or perhaps Final Fight or Streets of Rage
I'm the guy who has to watch the mayor's daughter while the other goons go off to fight Guy and Cody.
Whip type, flying kick type, punchy type, or big barrel through a crowd type?
Livin' that Abobo life for sure
Smoooooth.
And he is a canon New Yorker.
It's funny he thinks he lives in a world where people aren't currently stealing from grocery stores.
I'm already shitposting fodder as it is so I'll probably join the Buzzards.
Whilst not being a Russian scavenger obsessed with echidnas, I am British and therefore allergic to the sun so I see the appeal of wrapping up and living underground mostly.
I'm not gonna pull up the wiki but I believe the canon is that they all live in a sunken city or airport and that's why they have access to all the car parts which provides trade and barter networks. I'm just not quite ready to eat dog food and bugs.
Yeah, they definitely live in a sunken city (airport too I think) and scavenge the parts from there. I can't remember why they're Russian or Russian-coded but I'm pretty sure that's right.
The echidna thing is just because of their spiky cars and that there's a fact on one of the commentaries that one of the cars has the exact number of spikes on it that an echidna has spines because someone in the fabrication team is a huge nerd.
Fully subsidising the stores would eliminate theft and any resale market.
I was typing out why each single of those points is wrong* but what's the point. This persons brain should be scientifically studied. Preferably in a jar.
*Edit: Ableisms
Whichever gang snaps their fingers menacingly as they do shit; I think they'd probably be fun to hang out with and gentlemen all around
"When you're a MiG you're a MiG all the way"
The MiGs could be made up of Mumdani InstaGram followers.
actually i changed my mind i wanna be part of Butch's Tunnel Snakes
TUNNEL SNAKES RULEThey do have cool jackets.
People will buy goods at below-market prices and resell them
The markets understander has logged on.
This already happens with food stamps, it's a non-issue
I was going to say the Trans one, but it's New York, so there's probably a dozen Trans gangs like the Dolls, the Boy-moders and other less pleasant named ones.
So I guess maybe the Auto-Gynephiles who are lesbian street racers
In my head, Boy-Moders and Boy-Modders are rival gamgs
So I guess maybe the Auto-Gynephiles who are lesbian street racers
That goes extremely hard.
my gang would be largely orthogonal to sexiness while making a big show of being irritated by bodega cats, yet discreetly giving out treats and scritches
Former New York is a blighted land of contrasts and I'm here for it.
who worship bodega cats
I can get behind this.
Are bodega cats an actual thing in NYC?
Yeah. Sometimes they're owned by the owners, sometimes they're just happy to let them chill there each day because they keep pests and rodents away.
To be fair, lots of places have shop cats like that, especially in hot places where the cats use the shops and stall awnings to chill in the shade. I've been to towns in Turkey and Spain for example that have statues to infamous or long standing shop cats.
The more social but slightly less menacing cousin of the infamous Barn Cat.
Barn cats are country cats. Shop cats are city cats.
City cats will fearlessly navigate crowded floors or even car traffic. Barn cats will bully animals 50x it's size. It's the same energy.
The Warriors, of course. Mostly because I'm bad at rollerblading and applying clown makeup.
Too much running. 
I can dig it though.
