this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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(page 2) 14 comments
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[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

Marriage material right there

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[–] [email protected] 66 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

One time, I was on the phone with my ex, and they narrated writing on the side of the toilet bowl with their own poo. It was incredibly vivid, and I was legitimately disgusted. He added emphasis and storytelling. I sat there and protested, completely unaware his mom did colonoscopies, and he was unfazed by the mention of poop.

One quote that always stuck with me is, "shit in a bag feels like play-doh."

To this day, I pray to a God that may not answer, that my ex was joking.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 weeks ago (6 children)

I mean, shit in a bag does feel like play-doh sometimes.

Source: have a dog

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 weeks ago

It depends on the shit. It comes in a wide variety of consistencies, even on the same day.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

Ten minutes is the real question mark for me. Was it just kismet that she had one in the holster like that?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Just eat something your stomach has an intolerance to and you can probably work it out pretty quickly

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago

Sometimes, dreams do come true

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

That's my secret, Cap. I've always got to poo

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[–] [email protected] 96 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

And suddenly he is feeling it again...

[–] [email protected] 95 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I mean I guess if you do something that fucked up and get the same response you probably found your actual soulmate

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[–] [email protected] 146 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

If in your world "sending a video of pooping" is not synonymous with "hurting someones feelings", then I am not even sure what to say.

[–] [email protected] 81 points 4 weeks ago

It sure is a fucking insane thing to do

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I heard this one. They eloped within the week

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago
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