this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago

Calm down, Roko.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 16 hours ago

Bread is natural?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

Fake: anon knows how to actually make banana bread
Gay: anon imagines a guy's ass

[–] [email protected] 11 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

MyFlatLoaf.png

>making flatbread for a party
>dough is runny and moist
>imagine I’m baking a giant wad of cum 
>imagine stomachs bursting with my delicious seed
>they beg for more
>but I wont give it to them because I have a 24 hour refractory period 
due to sourdough starter regeneration time
Anyway, family reunion thread? 
[–] [email protected] 40 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Jokes on you. How do you know not every bread has been fucked before you ate it? Checkmate, atheists.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 16 hours ago

Extra protein

[–] [email protected] 17 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

You're right! I'm not paying extra until they provide proof.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 53 minutes ago

Just check your bakers OnlyBrans profile

[–] [email protected] 6 points 23 hours ago

There's a Viz comic about that...

Fru T. Bunn – a "Master Baker" who makes his own sex dolls out of gingerbread and then attempts to have sex with them. Often he actually succeeds, only to be discovered in the last frame by his wife and daughter (Little Chelsea – ref to the Chelsea Bun)!!

[–] [email protected] 30 points 23 hours ago (4 children)

Do not fuck raw eggs or yeast, please.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 15 hours ago

Yes, please pasteurize it first.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 20 hours ago

"Dropped raw chicken breast on penis and now it’s burning, please help"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 22 hours ago

Making it protein rich.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 23 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 day ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

*Fleshli-

You know what who cares

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago