No Stupid Questions

I consider my appearance to be armor. I put on makeup and cute clothes and style my hair so I can face the world. Helps my social anxiety.

Also, totally doesn't take that much time. 20 minutes max once you get into the habit of it.

I don't know you, but there's a chance that someone else had this exact realization after seeing you

believe it or not, there is such a thing as looking "good enough" in any situation. spending this much time comparing yourself to everyone else-- you're in for an exhausting life

Now don't quote me on this, it's based on my memory from an art history lesson roughly 20 years ago (Kunst-Grundkurs im Saarland, Ü). But, if I remember correctly, there is an inverted relationship between fashion (meaning the way people present themselves in general) and the economy. When the economy is booming, people tend to go with simple, understated shapes and colours. When the economy is slowing down, they tend to go overboard, putting more effort into their looks, wearing more noticeable jewellery etc (possibly to keep up appearances that they're still fine?).

Again, these are tendencies, not strict rules. But maybe that's what you're noticing?

Part of what it points to is what you’re currently paying attention to. You don’t notice all the people who aren’t what you consider “good looking”.

Later in life, you’ll notice how many people have children in strollers, or drive fancy cars, or can afford houses. You may start noticing how many people own dogs, run regularly outside, or never look up from their phones.

It’s a form of selection bias; you tend to see the people that are most likely to catch your attention, and ignore the rest.

Try an exercise: start checking to see how many people you see in public smile with their eyes.

Where I live people dress like shit

It's almost May. The mating season.

You see appearance as ‘secondary in life’ and value ‘human connections’

They value appearance first, far above love for one another

I live in rural America and can't say I have the same experience as you do. I (34F) dress like a "bum" 99% of the time (T-Shirts, jeans/leggings, hair thrown in a bun) and thats how most of my busy friends dress too when they are not at work. However I do think if you live in a city or just a more populated area that its realistic to think you may end up on camera at any point during the day, and you want to look good for that, so you could feel compelled to try and always look your best.

Every once in a while, I do get full glam to go to the local grocery store because I really don't go anywhere else, and I want a reason to "dress up" and I can imagine that there's a lot of that going on too.

Most likely, you’ve just started noticing what the world has already been like for decades, if not centuries.

Taking care of yourself is of course important, but I think many people over do it in an unhealthy manner. It’s good to be clean and look nice, but you don’t have to make that the central theme of your life.

IMO, comfort and practicality are also important, but you don’t have to look like you’re still chilling at home watching a movie and munching popcorn. There are good compromises out three.

this is predominantly a knowledge base: dressing well is knowledge, makeup is knowledge, styling your hair is knowledge, skin care is knowledge, healthy food habits, exercise habits, and so on. you can acquire this knowledge either through self-help videos / social media, or spending money to talk to professionals, or whatever other research works for you (but the two aforementioned approaches are most common)

come to my house, i look like shit