this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

You guys have friends?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Grown-ass llama here. I use element, signal, and simple x for communications with friends and family.

I think it's important to have secure private messaging between individuals and groups. We get to talk about all kinds of stuff, asynchronously across multiple time zones.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago

It's a work thing.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

I have a group chat going with my best friends, on Signal too.

It's a great place to share the memes, news etc we find. Also some discussions once in a while and planning to meet.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

I have a friend group for 25 years, I will be 33 this year.

It's always sad to read replies to posts like these with people saying they have no friends.

And since I am a guy I can literally not talk to some of them for months and just literally pickup where we left off and talk for hours without it feeling awkward, forced whatever

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Yeah same here. Turning 30 soon.

I have my group of friends from literally middle school. My circle from college. Small group of friends from my internships, some coworkers I’ve kept in contact with who visit every so often. We all keep in contact. Some more often than others. Sometimes life gets in the way for months/years, sometimes we don’t get along and fight, but we always, ALWAYS make it up in the end, learn from what got us butting heads in the first place, and pick right back up where we left off like it never happened in he first place.

This isn’t meant as a brag or anything; I feel incredibly lucky, fortunate and grateful to be surrounded by so much unconditional love. And I always feel so sad when I see comments from people who are going through life solo. Life is a harsh mistress, and I couldn’t imagine going through it by myself. The relationships I have with others make it much easier.

I know it sounds cliche, but keeping your heart open, understanding that others will be different from you (which means you can always learn something from them), and being forgiving even under the toughest of situations is what powers me each and every day.

If you’re reading this and looking for a sign to change, well this is your sign. Go join the yoga class, keep an open heart with your coworkers, maybe text that friend you haven’t spoken to in years. I’m sure they’d love to hear from you. Life is so much better this way, I promise.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Why is it sad? It is just modern fact of life that each person is alone.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 16 hours ago

Children still starving is also a fact, doesn't make it not sad.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm in my 40s and have multiple long-standing circles of friends going back decades (each with their own group chat). I even made new friends recently through channels other than my existing friends (started going to local fighting game community events).

I definitely feel bad for the people who talk about having very few or even no close friends and seem to frame it as some kind of inevitability that comes with adulthood. Life without my friends would absolutely be a lot worse.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago

Agreed. I couldn’t imagine life without the unconditional love and support my friends give me.

Some folks feel that they need to go through life alone. It doesn’t have to be that way! Open up your heart and meaningful relationships will start filling your life before you know it. I promise!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

And since I am a guy

Just using your post as a springboard to get all 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

but I wonder how much of the idea of "women's friendships decay, men's friendships can pick up exactly where they left off" is based on reality.... And how much of it is just a stereotype based on social norms that are no longer true. Y'know, like the idea that "women have naturally better emotional intelligence" (the reality is that most young boys were and on some level still are discouraged from engaging with emotions in general, and it's hard to get good at something with no practice)

I can't even cite personal anecdotal experience as an argument for or against because my friendship group is mostly queer dudes with the occasional transgender chick or enby person.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 hours ago

As a woman I have friend's I just talk to whenever I want, like once or twice per year and never had a problem with them. Athough there were friends I lost because we didn't have enough contact and they didn't like that. Looks like it depends on the person and not the gender. Who would have thought that ;-)

[–] [email protected] -1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I think women have naturally better emotional intelligence and I don't think it's because boys are told not to be emotional. I think women just see things that men don't

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 12 hours ago

It doesn't apply in my case. I'm a woman and I have a female friend (former coworker, she's moved back to NI now) who I can just pick up with where we left off. She forgot to install telegram for almost a year on her new phone so I had to text her to remind her I exist, and we just went back to chatting like nothing happened. I'm autistic and she's a bit weird, so I don't know if that affects anything. But we can go a few months without chatting and it doesn't matter. In my case, if someone is important/significant to me, then it doesn't matter if a few months go by. Same with the few relatives I get on with. If we're talking several years, then yeah, people change, grow, move on.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Same here, not a chat for that many years though

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago

You guys have friends?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Funny that

I wouldn't have made it to adulthood without my friend circle. I'd have ragequit life long ago.

The little groupchat of funny internet nerds I built up over these past 15 years is my entire backbone.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Nothing lasts forever, don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

The first step to lasting friendships is not being a lil' bitch.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'll be honest, none of my friends would get along with each other.

One friend and I make more than the other 3 combined. One friend has so many things he does and groups of friends I don't know, so I don't get to hang out with him much. Another friend is all the nuerodivergence, intelligent, but a filterless activist and who really could choose her battles better. The last friend can be overwhelming to talk to.

Having them in a group would just ruin it

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Username checks out so hard LOL.

It's a hard fact of life that friendship compatibility isn't a transitive property. I lament that differing people I like to hang out with, likely wouldn't wanna hang out with each other.

And then I'm like "How the heck do friend groups get started then?!" Lol

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I had a friend group in college. It was awesome. Then we graduated and never saw eachother again. Primarily because we were the only remaining CS students in our year.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Me in highschool. Man I thought I'd have those friends forever. It was really cool how socializing wasn't so high-stakes back then. I kinda knew everybody of all sorts there, and could hold a conversation with almost anyone.

Once I had to move away to the middle of nowhere after graduation, and they got jobs and stuff, I was left with one (1) single friend that actively sought to catch up with me regularly. He earned the top spot of "best friend."

The rest just forgot I existed because I decided to drop Facebook. (And I provided alternative methods to reach me.) My once best pal would usually respond to "How's it going man? :D" with "Work." That's it.

I realize one of the biggest fantasies we see through our screens and on our pages is a group of fellows with unbreakable bonds. From sitcoms to superheroes, and now even tabletop gaming, I think we all just want a group we can struggle and rejoice together with, and that's become such a coveted grail of a thing.

But the world is designed to isolate and busy and fatigue us as adults, and everything has gotten so socially tense and high stakes it's hard to form anything with new people beyond mere acquaintanceship, because you can never be sure who people really are anymore.

Lol sorry I didn't mean to get all deep there lol...

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Are you sure they don't know each other?

Maybe they are in their own chat talking shit about you?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago

I KNEW IT!!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Mine do… Chili, meet Cheese

[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Then you absolutely need a group chat for both of them to get acquainted so they can hate the experience and individually ghost you as a result.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago

Not on me if your only other friend sucks ass and can't handle a simple Steam chat to get a game going without being an insufferable dick. Or whatever.