This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
Buddhism's "Life sucks? Be nice and die and you'll get a better one" sucks but it's still better than "you should be nice to others, but that's too much to ask so go be as awful as you want and just regret it later and that'll be fine". But even that was better than whatever the fuck people are interpreting from religions these days.
Bible stories are the same way, we've just heard them a million times so they don't seem weird
"Hey Jesus what toppings do you want for pizza?"
"Plain with cheese"
Later the disciples are eating pizza with Jesus
""Hey Jesus why did you say you like cheese pizza when you normally order pepperoni?"
"You dumb fucks how dare you not understand my hidden meaning, I am the true pizza and you are the pepperoni, the grease is my blood"
"Oh of course, sorry boss"
"Jesus... when you say 'get me off this fucking cross, so help me God'... is that a test? Or should we actually get you off the cross?"
( More ranting and screaming and moaning )
The disciples nod wisely at their leader's self-sacrifice for... their sins maybe? And he will always be immortal in their hearts, because they've already eaten him or something.
The disciples go home, wiser and holier and warily eyeing each other in confirmation of the deeper meaning behind their saviour's last words: "Guys, please, I'm not fucking around, get me down, please, I'm so fucking thirsty.... Jesus fucking christ"
Have you Heard, Seen, or Suspected the salami here comes from an animal that was killed for my consumption?
Dont know man... is my first day here.
The Blessed One acquiesced with silence.
... The vegetarian one then. Next customer!
为什么不两?
Before enlightenment, shitpost daily
After enlightenment, daily shitpost
Joshu wants nothing on his pizza.
If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the meal was cooked a long time ago.
Exactly Daniel Jackson
I understood this reference.
Anon looks at the finger smh
Isn't Buddhism at least partially about a lack of desire? Buddha is enlightened, meaning he has no desires, therefore if you asked him what he wanted on his pizza, he'd be like "Eh, whatever's fine"
Lack of desire is a metaphysical control of your realm, essentially by not wanting, you cannot truly be hurt.
The physical path is about actualizing your body through routine use. Meditation for example usually had physical exercise as that allows your breathing to take a dominant part in your brain, regardless of thoughts.
One of the coolest ways of mastering the metaphysical realm is through imagination, as some buddhist sects just imagine a holy land.
Anyways, he'd probably dislike a meat supreme.
I am enlightened.
are they just trying to fuck with white people?
Not just white people, but people in general.
That's Hinduism, not Buddhism.
TIL the Kama Sutra is just an average Netflix show released 140 years too early.
Also, Zeus
There are things that cannot be communicated by reading alone.
Zen is said to be based on a "special transmission outside scriptures"
I suspect that actually looking at someone (preferably while you're together in the same room) lets you understand things better.
The Buddhist Monk walks up to the hot dog vendor and says: "make me one with everything."
The monk pays with a twenty, which the vendor pockets.
"Where's my change?"
"Change comes from within."
I think I can explain. In Buddhism, you have to understand if he didn’t the last into the pizza, but from where I stand it simply is. I hope that helps.
I suddenly feel enlightened.
What
The fool asks 'What?'
The wise man interjects 'What'
The enlightened silently nods and thinks 'WTAF'
Induction technique
This guy doesn't know the one about the pizza guy making him on with everything and then not giving him back and change. So he is angry cuz he didn't get the anti joke.