Comic Strips

Lived in Upstate New York for about a year, went into a diner that did breakfast. They had a Southern Theme to them and tried to play up being "Southern".

I asked if they had grits, and I just got funny looks, was told no one could "eat that shit", and they served "real food"

Then without missing a beat, some guy with a trucker hat and a camoflauge pattern Duck Dynasty shirt gags at the idea of someone ordering grits and then orders a bagel.

It was like I was in the god damn twilight zone.

It was in this moment I suddenly knew what it was like to be a Native American at a Halloween Party and some white guy comes in dressed in warpaint and a headdress saying he's Chief Sitting Bullshit or something.

That town was weird, so many people LARPing being Southerners, even had one guy told me I was crazy for coming up from NC because "Everyone's rich back down there, because in the South ya aint gotta pay taxes!" in the most forced Southern Accent I had ever heard in my life, sounding like Hank Hill if he was drunk and had no sense of serenity. For the record, we aren't rich down south and we sure as hell pay taxes, they just don't go to anything useful.

Upstate New York isn't real, I refuse to believe it is, I spent months in some kind of Yankee-Induced coma.

Shit was so bad I moved to Albany, I'll take real Northerners over fake Southerners anyday. I'm back in NC now, where I can have all the grits I want in a place where there's always Cheerwine to wash it down with.