this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2025
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Leopards Ate My Face

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (7 children)

So uh... I had to look up the term 'CJ Degree.'

... Criminal Justice.

As in... learn 'industry practices' to be qualified as a corrections officer (jail/prison guard), private detective, cop, paralegal, etc.

The first thing that came up was a particular college's course overview and goals checklist... one of the goals was ...

Attend a financial literacy workshop.

So not only is this person a moron, not only is this person in all likelihood a prison guard, not only did they go to college to become a prison guard, they shouldn't have even graduated with their degree.

As a person from a white trash neighborhood, who got real degrees, first in the family to go to college... I have not gotten white trash vibes this strong in quite a long time.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 days ago

Should have been biting your tongue when you chose to vote for Trump. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

~~Dry~~ Don't cry, clown lady. Your retirement savings may be gone, but at least prices will skyrocket.

edit: dry cry? what happened, brain?

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[–] [email protected] 116 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (7 children)

God, the Zelensky one gets me.

He's not begging for money you ignorant, narcissistic, walking dunning-kruger, fascist supporting asshole.

He's literally fighting a war against an enemy of America since the 1950s that invaded his country and he's asking for help so his countrymen and women don't die or get oppressed by Russian annexation.

He's on the front lines, we should be thanking him you dumb cunt.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

🦁🍴👩

Wrong cat emoji, but still...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So I've been waiting quite some time to time the market and said fuck it one week ago. Put in 6k euros in etf. Then shit like this happens lmao. European stock is affected less than NA ones but still.

Lost almost my week's income on this stuff. But now's the time to pump it. Gonna put 2k euros in it every few days until it's at 30k euros original value.

We're all such emotional creatures, so... Gimme those stocks 😎 gimme gimme gimme

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Now is not the time to buy...... Dont try and catch a falling knife. Let it hit the floor before you decide to pick it up. Tariffs will take weeks until they really start curbing consumer spending, we have a long ways to go.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago (2 children)

It's not going to just stay on the floor nicely like a good little doggy. Once it reaches it, it will shoot up sharply.

I'm just going to take the average of the crash. Put in 2000 euros every few days across 2 months and then ride it out.

It's still the same property and I'm going to keep it for 20 years. It's money I don't need.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago (2 children)

🤣 those last few are priceless. I hope she liquidates all her shit and buys up. Us pleebs haven't even begun to feel the pressures this likely recession is going to bring on. The market has only just started to react.., is what I would say if my tin foil hat hadn't just fallen upon my dome... These fuckers are purposely crashing the market temporarily to get rich quick... I hate all of it... These grifters are the worst.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

This isn't a temporary crash. This is upending trade policies that took 75+ years to establish and work out. Using the post WW2 reconstruction of global currency that we practically dictated to the world. We put ourselves in a position of unparalleled power in the new world economy by convincing everyone in the world that we were a stable and trustworthy government who wouldn't ever betray them.

You can't bring that back by just "dropping" tariffs.

There's a literal boycott on US goods right now across the world. Nobody's buying our shit, and I don't blame them.

We're intentionally fucking up the global economy, for absolutely no fucking reason, other than this dementia addled dipshit thinks trade is bad and tariffs are good.

That's literally the closest thing to saying the earth is flat, from an economists standpoint.

This is going to take DECADES to recover from. If the market is lucky.

We just shot ourselves in the foot with a Russian donated AK-47 on full auto and didn't let off the trigger until both of our feet were just shredded piles of bone and meat, and the ricochets also caught all of our friends standing next to us in their feet as well. Not as badly as we shot ourselves, but more than they were expecting I suspect.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You're not giving this traitor enough credit. He and his are NOT DUMB they completely understand what they're doing to the US. This, treating him and his allies like they're ignorant is only helping them...

They are winning... We cannot allow this to continue.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeah I like how she's retired and her fellow Trumpers are telling her to buy the dip. Guess she should sell her house so she can buy more stocks? I'm sure that'll work out.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago

Wait a minute. Are you telling me that you don't have a couple million in liquid assets that you can use to buy stocks right now?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 days ago

I think they are being programmed to blow all their money on the market they know fuck all about. My mom is a dumb ass always going on about thinking she knows anything about investing and always saying stuff that’s just vastly wrong and watches all that magat bullshit all the time

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 days ago

'seriously uneducated'.....

has degree in criminal justice.

was it the only program they could get accepted into?

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Just put your money into stocks! Buying 10 shares of Apple right now would cost $2,000 but once it bounces back to the price it was at before the dip you'd have $2,500! That's a profit of $500 in just a few years!

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

That's actually a pretty good return, but only helps people with cash lying around, which generally are already rich fucks.

It also assumes this is the bottom. That $2000 could become $1000 and it may take years and years and years to get to $2500 instead.

There is no indication this is the bottom.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago

That's actually a pretty good return, but only helps people with cash lying around.

Exactly. A 25% return is amazing, but turning $1 into $1.25 isn't really that impressive. Turning $1,000,000 into $1,250,000 is. The two returns are the same but one made 25 cents and the other made 3x the yearly median income of a US citizen. "Buying the dip" only makes a difference if you're already filthy rich.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Lol, stupid cunt.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago

Until the ultra rich buy everything up at bargain basement prices.

[–] [email protected] 83 points 3 days ago (6 children)

STOP being Mean to this WOMAN! She CLEARLY was Taken in by Trump's Promises! She thought ONLY TRANS KIDS would be effected! And BROWN PEOPLE! She had No Idea WHITE PEOPLE would ALSO be effected! Cut her some SLACK!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 days ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 104 points 3 days ago (2 children)

"We have officially been unburden"

This lady word good!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago

Why say lot word when few do trick

[–] [email protected] 72 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Unburdened of her life's savings, apparently.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago (2 children)

She can enjoy a nice cup of American grown non tariffed Covfefe.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 days ago

Must be. Because she was clearly unburdened of common sense and objectivity a long time ago.

[–] [email protected] 121 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Wanted to try the Herman Cain Award style post of a Trump faithful realizing their face has been eaten. This Trumpette retired recently, doesn't know much about how the stock market works, but is seeing her retirement funds go up in smoke. Helpfully, a fellow MAGAt advised her just to buy the dip. Not sure what money she's supposed to do that with...

[–] [email protected] 72 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This was a GLORIOUS format! I missed the Herman Cain award mini stories and this was a breath of stank air.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not gonna lie, I used to binge the Herman Cain Awards like I was huffing paint.

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