they only think coconuts floated over on their own 500 years ago because austronesians are supernaturally invisible to white people

Life... finds a way.

No swallows necessary

35 million years of coconuts in Asia and they didn't float over until after traders established shipping routes to Asia?

The float yeah and that's how they spread, but the coconuts were mostly brought by ships.

A coconut is really good on a ship 500 years ago, you have fresh water, some nutrition, etc.

Some ship gets destroyed with a load of coconuts on board and so it began probably.

Then when even the first ones have taken root, they start floating from isle to isle themselves.

Coconuts have evolved to spread from island to island by floating, but it's still weird that one happened to float to the other side of the world in historic times. I would have guessed that either the currents could never take a coconut there or that the currents would have taken a coconut there long ago.

(When I visit Florida, I see coconuts float by sometimes. Some have been in the water a long time - they're covered in barnacles. However, if they're still floating does that mean they might still be viable?)

Caribbean from Asia? did they take the Panama Canal 400 years before it was built? there is not path that isn't crazy

Do you're telling me that it had nothing to do with swallows being either European or African?!