this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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First, please be respectful in the comments. I have no idea what the topic was, but apparently it caused a lot of divide. I prefer just the claims and facts, backed by citations, and let me draw my own conclusions. I can think for myself. 😅

I'm curious because it seemed to have happened about a year ago, and then there were concerns of Lemmy being a worse place for women than Reddit.

I don't really see that now. Granted, I'm new, and maybe it's the specific communities I subscribed to, but I haven't really seen much women-hating in posts or comments. If anything, I've seen a bias towards liberal viewpoints (many of which I personally agree with, but sometimes the justifications use poor reasoning and almost comes off as a bad defense or covert sabotage).

I'm hoping Lemmy changed for the better in the past year, and I'm not about to be side slammed with some misogyny. 🙏🏼

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 14 hours ago

It was a repeat of #MenAreTrash and a little bit of #MeToo using different words this time. And just like any other time there is an awareness campaign that highlights the general statistics and truth of things, instead of inspiring men to take a stand and push for any change or correcting of shitty, toxic behaviour; the so called loud minority rushes in to say "not all men" and defend the status quo while the so called silent majority lets them.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The major issue I had with this is that it plays into the alpha male misogynistic ideal of strength.

Some of them will almost certainly see it as a badge of honour. That they are so dominant that some stupid women (their opinion) will misinterpret that and get into trouble with a bear.

I was trying to come up with a way to rephrase it.

Something like would you rather be alone with a man or separate but you both have to eat a bowl of dog shit.

If women choose the bowl there are nasty consequences for both and it's clearer they would rather deal with that than the man.

Nowhere near as catchy though...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

A question that put further division between men and women. I fuckin hated reading these debates

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't know anything about its history on Lemmy and I haven't really seen it discussed online at all. I guess I live under a rock.

The one place I have been exposed to it is in this amazing write-up, which I encountered via Mastodon some time ago. For me it provided a perfect introduction to the argument, and gave me a lot to think about even though I am by no means ignorant to feminism and my position as a man in society.

Highly recommend the read, both to men and women. It's extremely well written.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Thanks for the read.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago (5 children)

SnotFlickerman nailed it, so I’ll just add that the “man or bear” saga taught me what a “scissor statement” is.

For me, that was the biggest revelation of the whole thing.

You had people encountering the same general words in the same general order, but understanding them to mean completely different things, and not being able to comprehend how anyone could disagree with them.

It was like a rehash of “the dress”, but not so whimsical.

It was really kind of distressing, the extent to which it laid bare (no pun intended) how poorly we’re actually communicating with each other online, even though it otherwise seems like we’re communicating more than ever.

Aaaaand then we just kinda shrugged that off and went back to internet as usual.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 15 hours ago

Cool link but the blog writer is clearly mentally ill.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

Jesus Christ. Even if I do think the story is fictional, I could believe that our current media landscape has been ruined by advertising firms.

Here's an example of a scissor statement that I've been calling out for years: the Israel-Palestine conflict. It's designed to be something that divides people. Not inviting your israel-supporting aunt to Thanksgiving and blocking your Palestine-supporting nephew is what the Man wants. That conflict, for as strongly as people feel about it here, does not matter to Americans. Nearly as many people have died fighting in the Myanmar civil war, and I don't know a single person who even has an opinion on that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 18 hours ago

Maybe I'm generalising it a bit but it does seem like the main issue is the lack of open mindedness, compassion and an inclination for aggressive responses rather than simply agreeing to disagree.

Which unfortunately is a difficult thing to achieve since you need both sides to have the same mindset for any healthy discussion to happen. The moment one side decides to be antagonistic, it quickly derails the tone of the conversation regardless how open the other side may be. Heck this happens all the time here. It's called no stupid questions but people will still flame others for asking questions lol.

The scissor statement just serves to accelerate whatever problem already exists.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 22 hours ago

That link is fucking crazy. Thank you for sharing, fuggen bookmarked.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

Yeah, I'm not engaging with the bear vs man debate, lol.

I'm more concerned about how some reacted to it than the debate itself.

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