You first fuckface
this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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If only there was some way we could train our immune systems to fight off Measles without having to actually infect ourselves with it. That way an immediate immune response could keep the disease from ever taking root to begin with! I blame those fucking scientists for not thinking of this already, they're probably too busy making fake climate change scare articles. ^/s^
What if we only get, like, a little bit of measles? Like if I touch someone with measles very quickly. Just enough to get a small non-dangerous amount that is hardly noticeable by me but enough for my immune system to learn to fight it? Is there a possibility that that would work?
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Thanks to this moron, that's exactly what's going to happen.
My father had measles when he was a little boy, sometime in the 1940s. It nearly killed him. Measles is no joke. Anyone trying to spread it around on purpose should get a bullet in the brain before they have a chance to harm others.
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Damn, I wonder why people went out of their way to get a vaccine. 🤔
The sacrifice: Republican voters are declining
Democratic voters remain unchanged
Red State goes to Purple State
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As a bonus for contracting measles, you'll get all your previous vaccines and earned immunities deleted by the measles virus attacking your immune cells dedicated to remembering how to effectively fight past pathogens.
So you can think of measles as THE antivaccine. No wonder the antivaxxers love it so much!
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“The measles gave you lifetime protection against measles infection,” Robert F. Kennedy Jr. told Sean Hannity on Fox News.
Wouldn't it be great if there was something else that gave you protection against measles infection, without you actually having to have measles? If only ...
The measles vaccine is literally a weakened version of the measles virus. It’s just an attenuated measles infection that allows your body to build antibodies against it without a full on infection.
This guy should have stayed off the raw meat.
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Fuck RFK and his shenanigans, but this article is tabloid clickbait.
They are exaggerating for clicks.
He horseshoe theory-ed himself back to vaccination.
The only way to stop a bad guy with measles is a good guy with measles, I guess.
Such a great idea. Everyone should get the plague and polo as well. This man is a genius.
Thank you so much America and RFK. Vaccines have become contested as scientific fact, and the only way to truly show the world the truth, is to rip away vaccines from a country that has them, and count the dead before and after. Your willingness to sacrifice potentially thousands of American lives to prove your opponents' point, is almost Christ-like in its self-sacrificial nature, and Trump-like in its mythical level of stupidity and disregard for the value of human life. The rest of the world thanks you for ridding our countries of any traction vaccine skeptics might ever have had. We thank you for your service.
Him first. Let him try polio too.
This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking ~~customers~~ constituents.
RFK Jr: "It used to be that everybody got measles. And the measles gave you lifetime protection against measles infection. The vaccine doesn't do that ... it used to be that very young kids were protected by breast milk. Women who get vaccinated do not provide that level of immunity."
Everyone without a brain worm: "citation needed!"
I’m convinced the goal of this administration is to kill as many Americans as possible. They’re a fucking death cult.
That's exactly how a vaccine works you dummy it just uses an inert version of the virus that isn't as dangerous.
Looks like it is really hard for onion to make a parody: https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-vows-to-make-measles-deaths-so-common-they-wont-be-upsetting-anymore/
Edit: and you know what's crazy? He is advocating that everyone should get measles, because when he was young that was normal.
His voice is caused by disease called spasmodic dysphonia, which is also linked to childhood measles or mumps:
I get it. By giving everyone a measles infection, their immune system will be trained on the pathogen, and learn how to fight it in the future so you don't get infected again. That's a brilliant idea, but maybe we can play it safe by giving them just a little bit of measles so they don't have to deal with the associated risks?
People who subscribe to this approach toward immunity acquisition REALLY need to read Chapter 41 (Hygiene Hypothesis) in Immune by Philipp Dettmer. Also, here's a fun and terrifying excerpt specifically about measles:
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I think this is a legitimate route our medical community needs to take. Stupid people are instantly turned off by the word vaccine because of bullshit associations with the word.
Like how idiots hated Obamacare but loved the ACA.
Vaccines just need a re-brand. Something like, "Brawndo, it's got what T-cells need!"
Man, the worm in that man's brain is a genious indeed.