For the dankest of all memes
I saw @[email protected] 's post and wound up making a larger version of it (with my own changes)
Update- wound up making a expanded version
and a notion of how it would look amidst a better world (not overly serious, borders subject to change)
Tsh. Nearly the whole continent needs "undergoing denazification" subtitles. π Otherwise amazing!!
Why doesn't the UAR include all Arab countries?
The map was made with "drawing borders on the present (2023) world" in mind, admittedly. So I simply didn't think to include them for similar reasons to why I didn't include all of former Yugoslavia, or remade the Soviet Union... Egypt and the Gulf presumably would need a lot of time to settle into the idea (Jordan, Lebanon, and Kuwait would too, but it "works")
The US and Japan look interesting. Is that a split Philipines I see? Did the prison colony become more or less cringe? India also seems different.
edit: You cheeky bastard! You split Germany up even more, but Swabia still has to suffer Western Germany.
Prison colony definitely became less cringe. As for Swabia, my bad lol, I'll deal with it when I eventually get to another iteration
Virtually every large nation should be cracked up as well if you want to follow through with the logic. The amazonian basin would be a series of micro states. China has what like 50 recognized minority ethnic groups within its borders
But that's not what I want, nor what I'd find funny- it would be wholly counterproductive, as it would just leave Europe on equal footing with the rest of the world.
If anything, the next step I'd take would be creating more large federations and supranational unions, though sadly these wouldn't be very realistic. A United Arab Republic stretching from Mauritania to Oman, the return of the Soviet Union, or Mexico's historical borders, the East African Federation or some unions of the Congo/DRC, Burkina Faso/Mali/Niger, or Maphilindo... maybe even the dreams of pan-Africanism manifest as some "superstate Africa" or hell, some holy trinity of the Soviet Union reborn, China, and India all holding hands, singing "kumbayah," and delivering a spanking for the Anglosphere.
If it made any sense whatsoever (sadly it doesn't), I'd make a "Celtic union" featuring Ireland, Scotland, Wales, the Manx, Cornwall, Brittany, and Galicia as well- or I'd make a true Yugoslavia stretching from Slovenia to Bulgaria, or better yet a Balkan union like was historically proposed, with all the south Slavs, Romania, Hungary, Greece, and Albania- hell, bonus points for Cyprus and Turkey as well. Or I'd revive al-Andalus, but this time with all the other Maghreb states in a union. Or of course, the most ideal borders would simply be an entirely Soviet Europe.
The whole point is an (entirely and completely deserved, but also hypothetical shitpost of a) western Europe screw.
Oh I thought we were fucking around with taking national liberation to its logical conclusions and breaking things up into as small of chunks as possible. Didn't realize it was a piss take in the other direction
With me it's always a piss take in the other direction π
Can I ask why Lisbon is itβs own thing?
Because it's funny. And Portugal being left alone (other than the loss of the Algarves and various islands) didn't seem fair
Thatβs fair lol. The AΓ§ores are finally free!
Yorkshire would absolutely mandate its own independence if Lancashire got theirs.
True. And I'm all down for that, too. Lancashire got independence as-is to have a nice little land bridge going straight from Cornwall, to Wales, up to Scotland without passing through England at any point of the journey.
I'm sorry but this is just complete nonsense. Sami people getting their own state would be cool I guess but otherwise this is just an arbitrary clusterfuck, especially the balkans.
FWIW it was totally meant to be a clusterfuck and a (partial) shitpost in the Balkans. Russia, Belarus, Poland, Slovakia, Hungary, Romania, and even Moldova and Transnistria all took big happy bites out of Ukraine for instance. And Slovenia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, and Yugoslavia all took bites out of Croatia as well- and then there's Hungary and Yugoslavia biting bits off of Romania...
The intent was always to create a EU/NATO screw, and to play different member states off each other, making a scenario where there could be nothing to be done for certain states, but stewing in bitter impotence.
Not nearly enough "People's Republic of ___" for my liking. Also, why isn't Switzerland destroyed!? 
FWIW, the country labels don't include anything other than the main name- eg. China/Russia/Vietnam/Korea/etc. East Germany and Transnistria-Odessa in particular were made with blatant communism in mind (the rest were less about it- not that it wasn't possible- and more about doing a Euro-screw)
All borders are bourgeoisie, death to all states
Socialism must be secure before communism can be realized. Which will mean not only ensuring the entire world is developed, everyone has superabundance, all major deadly conflicts are largely resolved and interracial, interethic, and international grievances are healed, and the lingering ideologies spawned from America's international brainwashing operations have been excised, but then we will have to deal with our first major related challenge as a unified species: climate change.
I mean, nothing will suddenly switch overnight, as the world becomes more socialist or even more internationally interested in peace and cooperation, borders will become more porous. Death of US empire alone will see to this beginning.
Calling borders "bourgeoisie" comes off to me a little weird.
I mean I wasn't being entirely serious. But of course, the end state of communism is the absence of nation-states.
Don't we shit on libs for doing stuff like this?
Alt history and speculative near future stuff can be fun and illuminating, if done well.
But this is giving "libs making balkanized China maps" cringe energy.
Wanting to disempower nazis = based
Wanting to disempower socialists = cringe
Imo
We do shit on libs for doing stuff like this- I shit on them specifically, myself.
Difference between libs' maps and this though IMO is- for one, I think mine is hilarious, and had fun making it. But also, I'm not going about trying to fund or instigate separatists like this (though I won't lie- if I had the means to both do so, and have no repercussions- I meet neither requirement- I totally would), and certainly not/never terrorists and extremists the likes of which the west always does.
Dunno to what extent it's cringe in that context. Probably some, but I don't have much or any personal investment in these maps. I'd love to see half of it IRL, but there's no expectation unlike libs thinking they're going to carve up China, Russia, or (insert country here) "when they collapse, any day now..."
...also- while the borders tend to have some minor ethnic or historical context (not always) more than anything else, it's intended as a Euro-screw. And I'll never back down from such Euro-screws; at least I'm honest in that regard. The borders are less about "promoting democracy and equality by having a shit-ton of ethno-statelets and separatists" and more "let's screw England/France/Italy/west Germany to such an extent they will never wield the same influence again that they presently do." Which if you ask me, for shitposting borders on a map- or even IRL to a considerable extent- can only be a good thing.
I thought this was riffing off of that phenomenon
We're in a state of post-sarcasm here tbh. Far be it from me to ever back away from a good thing (balkanized Europe, imperialist countries being turned into puny statelets)
Creating a DMZ between Scotland and England is based. However, we are still not far enough away from the Angloids
Sadly, history has shown nowhere is far enough from the Angloids. But ideally, perhaps in this map's universe England can lose its... particularly English characteristics.
We need someone to change that bugs bunny meme where he's sawing off Florida, but separate england from scotland.
Why on earth does Holland gain territory? Colonial bastards should be balkanized themselves.
I figure they're small enough as-is... but more than that, specifically it's the logic of passing little bits of Germany (or Croatia, as another example on the map) to get as many nations invested in stomping out German revanchism wherever it pops up.
Giving the region to the Netherlands also isn't without cultural or historical precedent, which makes it better yet still.
Creating a DMZ between England and Wales isn't enough, Offa's Dyke needs to be re-dug and extended.
why did you make austria bigger? what kind of unhinged shit is this... austria must be balkanized. the west should be annexed by liechtenstein, vienna should become its own country, etc.
Valencianos would like to have a word with the person who put Catalunya all the way down to Alicante....
Good point, I changed it in a later version of the map. What's important (well, not all that important) is that Spain proper stays landlocked, lol...
No more Germany. I'm sick and tired of this country. You don't salvage nuclear waste, you throw it in an abandoned mineshaft and close it off with concrete. Modern day amalekites. 
So many UN Mandates....
Reeducation isn't going to come easily π
Also, if it helps diversify regions more, having hundreds of thousands if not millions of UN peacekeepers and other staff around... all the better
Hoi4 gamer understanding of geopolitics lookin ass map
You might as well bring back whole Yugoslavia while at it.
I figured it was best to leave the Croats (too much hassle, best left a rump state) and Bosnians be, tbh. In my heart I want big Yugoslavia, but Croats in particular are suspect
I'd include both completely, but would have to think real hard about Bulgaria
Don't leave Istra out of Yugoslavia. They were really big on antifascism. It's not right to let them continue suffering for it. At that point you might as well include the Dalmatian coastline and islands. Amazing for the economy, and very low nationalistic tendencies, especially on the islands. And let's not forget regions of Krajina that weren't completely ethnically cleansed.
Think about Republika Srpska. Literally today Stuart Peach came out to say that it can't be independent. Shit's really heating up
True; in a later post I changed it around- in the more pessimistic/"realistic" map (ie the one built off what you're seeing here) I had the other former parts of Yugoslavia return, but under UN supervision- and in the optimistic map I simply had Yugoslavia, whole and happy and mostly uncomplicated.
I actually spruced up the optimistic map some since, but figured I don't want to flood lemmygrad with maps- but here's the latest version- (also just realized saving in .jpg rather than .png gives just the size decrease along with already heavy resizing, to upload straight to lemmy)
I can't open the later one, the image fails to load.
UN supervision, now that's a horrific idea.
I like this one, Yugoslavia strong! Any non-aligned type of alliances?
I canβt open the later one, the image fails to load.
The imgur link or the uploaded file? Just in case, here: https://imgur.com/a/A6D7fkj
Any non-aligned type of alliances?
Admittedly didn't think of non-aligned movements too much in this case. Heavily aligned movements (a communist, anti-imperialist bloc or two, pan-Africanism, pan-Indigenism, pan-Arabism, pan-Celticism)? Sure. Internationalist countries and a global effort to prevent imperialism from reemerging, or western revanchism to cause trouble? Also definitely, sure. But in these scenarios where the west is decidedly out of the game for the foreseeable future- I'd like to imagine, perhaps in real life as well, that a large and common focus would be keeping them there.
UN supervision, now thatβs a horrific idea.
Thanks! I had a lot of fun adding it to places, TBH. I figured in borders that would no doubt leave a lot of people angry (not to mention the indigenism and de-Nazification programs underway) such a world would certainly need it. In the "pessimistic" version of the map there are 90 UN mandate regions labeled in total (and 1 African Union mandate), though these labels range from areas as large as Australia, Poland, and the southern half of Quebec, to as tiny as... the Aland islands, London, or a containment zone around Washington DC (most of the areas are approximately Netherlands-sized).
There are also 8 "international cities" (in other circumstances, I likely would have placed a whole lot more), all of which are UN mandates- in my imagining of it, those cities would be under permanent UN governance, with open borders to literally anyone from across the globe- London, Manchester, Birmingham, Paris, the Vatican, NYC (renamed for indigeneity), Washington DC (the aforementioned containment zone), and.. Lisbon, because I felt I wasn't balkanizing Portugal near enough, with just cutting off the Algarves. I had a lot of fun imagining the tantrums that would ensue from that as well. One can assume these to be sanctuary cities, on speed and steroids, but with the humanistic element of no longer being run by neoliberal ghouls which probably comes out as far more than a win.
