this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2024
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Anon likes sharpners (i.ibb.co)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
56 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

[typos preserved]

>be me
>4th grade
>bring 3 sharpners to school
>friend tells me thats a lot of sharpners
>bring 3 more sharpners the next day >friend gives me his sharpner to grow my collection
>start collecting more and more sharpners
>go to stationary every week to by more sharpners
>collect about 70 sharpners by the end of the month
>start bringing a tiny bag to carry thoes sharpner
>english teacher asks for a sharpner
>offer her the bag thinking she'd be impressed
>sees all my sharpners and writes a note to my parents
>only allowed to bring 1 sharpner
>idea.jpg
>make a huge sharpner out of cardboard
>dad helps me to color it with red and silver spray paint
>display it on my table during the english period
>get sent to the office

fun days

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You'd think that someone whose best story was about sharpeners would learn to spell sharpener.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My impression was that they were writing it as they contemporaneously verbalized it for effect and/or whimsy. Kids eat the e.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

And then they go clubbing.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Anon must be a young David Rees.

http://artisanalpencilsharpening.com/

[–] [email protected] 62 points 6 months ago (3 children)

The teacher missed an opportunity to encourage the anon, “Oh anon how kind of you to carry around enough sharpeners to share with those who don’t have any, thank you!” That said 70 is a lot, I just hate when teachers only see the negative side of things and punish kids for stupid reasons.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Teacher saw something they thought was stupid. They made a power play. Saw kid work around it and took it personally. Asserted limited authority.

Being a teacher is a tough job. Thing is, just like with therapy: If you've reached the point where you're going to throw around that authority willy-nilly, you are no longer a leader, you're a bully. Fuck off and work somewhere else.

Course this may not be the whole story. Could be the kid had been a nuisance for months before this point with the sharpie bag being the excuse a child's mind would focus on when other behaviors were the real cause.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Yes, you are correct on all points. But even if there were prior issues encouraging words can turn things around, no reason to discourage and frustrate children over something small.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, it feels that punishments like these are just to force conformance. How dare you do something childishly funny as a child!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I'm pretty sure "ensuring conformance" was listed in the discipline section of the handbook at a school I went to as a kid. They viewed it explicitly as their duty.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I just hate when teachers only see the negative side of things and punish kids for stupid reasons

Yeah I hate how most teachers treat little boys too

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

This was me with pencils, except I never got in trouble for it and my parents weren't fans.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hot take: OP went to grade school with 70 razor blades in his backpack. That probably had something to do with the response here.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

IDK, if he didn't have a tiny screwdriver, it's a non-issue. And even if he did, wouldn't it be easier to just stab someone with a pencil?

[–] [email protected] 37 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I knew a guy in high school that would use the blades from sharpeners and pen ink to give himself tattoos. They were about as good as you can imagine.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Bet he grew up to have a successful career in prison.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

I lost touch, but it seems likely.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Possibly as a laser tattoo removal specialist?

[–] [email protected] 41 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I've always held a sliver of hope that the Principal knew which teachers were full of shit and sending kids to their office just because they're bad teachers.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

You'll have detention tonight. I'm calling your dad so he can bring the pizza. Smash Bros good?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

They might know, but usually they’re too busy to do much about it outside of extraordinary circumstances

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (4 children)

I once, fatefully, wondered what would happen if I sharpened my little finger (it fit so well) and now I can't even look at the damn things. Anyway, now you have you think about that too. Tbf the way the nail peeled was briefly very satisfying before it went too far...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure I once or twice tried sharpening my nail, but I never went too far.

On the other hand (pun intended) I once got the end of my fing the pinched between the pneumatic cylinder and the thing it was actuating. There was a bit of a clearance so it didn't flatten my digit, but it left a good amount of blood under my fingernail, which hurt a lot. A friend advised me to grab a small drill bit and put a hole into the nail so the pressure is relieved, but it didn't want to go through... Until it bit in and I drove it maybe a millimeter into my flesh. That hurt even more... But after a while it got way better.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Oooooof. The skin under your nails is not meant to see the light of day and it shows. That shit is sensitive.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Thanks for ruining my day! =D

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I've never cringed so hard that I puckered my lips until today. This was worse than the concept of nailclippers on teeth.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Why? Why? Why?

Glad I'm not sleeping for a few hours. I don't need this in my head.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

You could've stopped before that last sentence...

[–] [email protected] 76 points 6 months ago (2 children)

A good prank harms no one.

A+ kid, well done.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

F to the teacher

[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago

Good on Dad for helping out too

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I was confused for a moment. For me, a "sharpener" is a "knife sharpener" first and foremost...

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